Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

first of all , we should see the dramatical changes that occurred in manufacturing job , the gradual increase in no. of jobs related to manufacturing between the period between 1960 to 1980 then it's decreased due to increase the machines that work automatically.

health care sector , there is a gradual increase in job volume due to two reason incrase the no. of population, increase the diseases

retail increased too

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify some relevant trends, including manufacturing rising before falling and healthcare increasing. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it gives no figures, barely develops the retail trend, and omits agriculture entirely. The explanation that manufacturing declined because of automation, and that healthcare grew because of population and disease, is not shown by the graph and should not be presented as fact. The overview is also incomplete: manufacturing peaked in 1980, agriculture fell overall, and retail and healthcare both rose, with the latter two reaching about 16 million jobs by 2020. The response is 71 words, below the required 150, so there is not enough coverage or supporting detail. Include a clear overview and compare the four sectors using key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence: it discusses manufacturing, then healthcare, and finally retail. This gives the reader some sense of topic progression, but the ideas are not organised into a complete summary, and the final statement, “retail increased too,” is left undeveloped. There is no clear overview to guide the reader, and the short, separate statements do not show how the sectors compare. The opening phrase “first of all” suggests a list, but no corresponding structure follows. Grouping the trends into an overview and two detail paragraphs, and using links such as “by contrast” or “while,” would make the progression clearer and the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “gradual increase,” “manufacturing,” “health care sector,” and “retail.” These choices make the general subject understandable, but the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or informal for an academic graph summary. For example, “dramatical changes” is not a natural collocation, “job volume” is imprecise, and “no. of jobs” is an unsuitable abbreviation in formal writing. Spelling errors such as “incrase” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language and sector-specific comparisons, such as “employment rose,” “the number of jobs declined,” and “remained stable.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “the gradual increase … then it's decreased,” but control is uneven and the sentence structure is often incomplete or faulty. The opening sentence has a confusing construction with repeated “between,” and “then it's decreased” uses an unclear contraction and an inconsistent tense. The healthcare sentence lacks a complete grammatical structure after “due to,” while “two reason” shows a number-agreement error. The final statement, “retail increased too,” is a simple, understandable clause, but the response offers little variety in sentence forms. Practise writing complete past-tense sentences with accurate articles and plurals, then combine them using clear comparison clauses.

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