Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrate the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the JS between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, It can clearly seen that manufacturing waa on top in 1960, retail ws also similar to them and agriculture was lower in previous years but it was raised after 2000.

Firstly, manufacturing was also first priority in 1960 to 2000 first in manufacturing their was 15 jobs and after time in 1980 it was grow up and touch 20 but in after some technology in 2000 the manufacturing raised down. Furthermore, retail was also on second mumber in 1960 in previous years retail jobs were lower and not demanding jobs so 5 jobs were in 1960, as time retail shoot up and touch 15 in 2000.

Healthcare was a major point, in 1960 healthcare workers deamnds was very low and its around 0 but with time as in 1980 in rose to 5 and after tome it also gone up and after 2000 healthcare also crossed manufacturing and others. At the end Agriculture was very lower rating in every year its comes up to down as in 1960 in agriculture sector their was 5 jobs but by the time in 1980 to 2020 its died and come to around 0 job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s early lead, retail’s rise, and agriculture’s decline, and you include some figures. However, the overview is unclear and contains a major factual error: agriculture did not rise after 2000; it fell from about 3 million jobs to 2 million. Some figures are also inaccurate: retail was about 6 million in 1960, not 5, and healthcare was about 2 million, not near zero. The claim that healthcare “crossed manufacturing” is incorrect; it reached roughly 16 million in 2020, above manufacturing, but the crossing point is not established by the listed years. Select the main trends accurately and summarise them clearly before giving supporting comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has separate paragraphs and uses basic sequencing signals such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “At the end,” so the reader can recognise an attempt to organise the information. However, progression is uneven: the overview is difficult to interpret, and the body moves between sectors without consistently presenting comparable figures or a clear time sequence. Some linking phrases are repetitive or do not express the relationship accurately, while references such as “them” and “it” are unclear. Organise the body into logical comparisons—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and use precise links such as “by contrast” or “while” to show how the trends relate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” and “rose,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “first priority,” “second mumber,” “shoot up,” “raised down,” and “died.” Spelling errors, including “deamnds” and “tome,” also make parts of the report harder to read. Aim for neutral, precise language suited to describing data, and avoid conversational or figurative expressions. Reusing accurate verbs such as “increased,” “declined,” and “remained” is more effective than using phrases whose meaning is unclear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with time clauses, but control is inconsistent. Errors in sentence structure and verb forms appear in examples such as “The line graph illustrate,” “it can clearly seen,” and “it was grow up”; these should be “illustrates,” “it can clearly be seen,” and “it grew.” Agreement and article use are also problematic, and several sentences run together without clear punctuation, particularly the long manufacturing and healthcare descriptions. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “while,” “whereas,” and “by 2020.”

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