Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors such as the Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and the Healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. It explains the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone].

Overall, there were the four sector, in these figure, manufacturing was the highest figure in 1960 and the lowest figure was healthcare. In 2020, the highest figures were the retail and the healthcare sector and the lowest sector was agriculture.

looking at the details, the jobs in million, in 1960, the healthcare was 2 million jobs and the retail and agriculture were 6 million jobs and the manufacturing sector was the 15 million, while in 1980, agriculture and healthcare were the 3 million and 5 million. The manufacturing sector was the 20 million jobs in the US.

In present, the agriculture sector was 3 million jobs, whereas the healthcare was 11million jobs. In addition,the retail and manufacturing were the 15 million and 17 million jobs in 2000. Several, in 2020, the agriculture sector was the 2 million

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and give several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s decline to 2 million by 2020. The overview also notes that manufacturing led in 1960 and that retail and healthcare were joint leaders in 2020. However, the report is only partially complete: it stops after the 2020 agriculture figure and does not state the 2020 totals for the other sectors or describe their overall changes across the period. Some comparisons are also unclear, and the overview could summarise the main trends more fully—for example, the long-term rise in retail and healthcare versus the decline in agriculture. Include a complete final-period comparison and a clearer account of the key trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, an overview and detail paragraphs, and the information is generally grouped by year. However, progression is uneven: the final paragraph moves from 2000 to 2020 but ends abruptly, leaving the comparison unfinished. Linking is sometimes inaccurate or mechanical. For example, “while” introduces the 1980 figures without a clear contrast, and “Several” does not work as a transition before the 2020 data. The repeated introductory wording in the first two sentences also uses space without advancing the report. Organise the details in a consistent chronological or sector-based sequence, use transitions that show the intended relationship, and ensure each paragraph develops a complete point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses relevant topic vocabulary such as “sector,” “manufacturing,” and “million jobs,” so the reader can identify the subject and most figures. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or unnatural, including “the highest figure,” “the lowest sector,” and “the number of jobs in four sectors.” Some word choices make the meaning less precise, such as “In present” for the year 2000 and “Several” before the final-year information. Aim for concise, accurate language for trends and comparisons, such as “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “jointly recorded the highest totals.” Vary the wording while keeping it appropriate for a factual report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a comparison with “while” and a clause beginning “whereas.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to follow. Examples include “there were the four sector,” “manufacturing was the highest figure,” and “the manufacturing sector was the 20 million jobs,” where agreement and sentence construction are faulty. Articles and number forms are also inconsistent, as in “the healthcare was 2 million jobs” and “agriculture and healthcare were the 3 million and 5 million.” Use a consistent past-tense reporting pattern, check singular and plural agreement, and build comparisons with parallel structures, such as “Healthcare had 2 million jobs, compared with 6 million in retail and agriculture.”

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