Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph gave the information about the number of jobs in four different fields of the economy in the USA between 1960 to 2020. There is X axis and Y axis of the grapgh.

In given passage four differents sectors being discussed named, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. First we will discuss manufacturing and retail sector. Around fifteen million jobs were produced in 1960 then they were gradually increased till 1980. After that there was a decline in number of jobs. In 2020 this graph showed around thirteen million jobs. In contrast ,the retail sector showed different trend, there were around six million jobs in 1960 and with time they boosted to fifteen million mark in 2000.

On the other hand , two more sectors are also discussed in the graph. The agriculture sector indicated that in 1960 there were around six million jobs and there was a decrease in the numbers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the four sectors and reports some relevant figures, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 13 million in 2020, and retail rising from about 6 million to 15 million by 2000. However, it does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, and the account is incomplete: retail’s 2020 figure and nearly all of healthcare’s trend are omitted, while agriculture is left unfinished. The manufacturing rise to 20 million in 1980 is only vaguely described. The response is also five words below the 150-word minimum. To improve, add a concise overview comparing the sectors, report the key turning points and end values, and complete the description of every series.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: the response introduces the graph, groups manufacturing with retail, and then signals a move to agriculture and healthcare with “On the other hand.” This gives the reader a rough sense of the intended sequence. However, the progression is not completed, as the final paragraph stops after agriculture’s decline and does not explain the remaining data. Linking phrases such as “First we will discuss” and “On the other hand” feel mechanical or do not clearly express the relationship between the information. Paragraphing and transitions could more clearly separate the overview from the detailed comparisons. Organise the report into an introduction, a brief overview, and two focused detail paragraphs, using links that show contrast or change accurately.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a minimally adequate set of topic words, including “sector,” “decline,” “in contrast,” and “jobs,” and the reader can generally identify the intended categories and trends. However, vocabulary is repetitive and some choices are unnatural or imprecise: “jobs were produced” is not a natural way to describe employment figures, and “boosted to fifteen million mark” is informal and awkward. There are also spelling and word-form errors, such as “grapgh” and “differents,” which reduce accuracy. Prefer standard chart-reporting language such as “the number of jobs rose,” “reached,” and “fell,” and use “employment” or “jobs” consistently. More precise trend vocabulary would help distinguish gradual growth, a peak, and subsequent decline.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and some relationships are communicated clearly, for example, “In contrast, the retail sector showed different trend.” However, the range is limited, and errors recur in sentence construction, articles, prepositions, and tense. Examples include “between 1960 to 2020” rather than “between 1960 and 2020,” “There is X axis and Y axis,” and “the retail sector showed different trend,” which needs an article. The phrase “they were gradually increased till 1980” also uses an incorrect passive form for the number of jobs. Punctuation spacing is inconsistent. Practise accurate comparative sentences using forms such as “the figure rose from… to…” and check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries before submitting.

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