Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the range of employement in four sectors of the of financial system in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that manufacturing sector had first place with major diffenerence at start among other three sectors in 1960. While retail and agriculture start from the same point but health care had the lowest figure in 1960.

Manufacturing had the highest number of empolyemnt in 1960 about 15 million jobs, conversly health care had the lowest point which is around 0.5 millions job in the same year. Health care sector increase consistantly over the years and got first place in 2020 with above 15 million jobs, while manufacturing increase in 1980 and then its down falling till 2020 with around 13 million jobs.

Agriculture had above 5 million jobs in start and its falling down in 1980 and remains constant between 1980 to 2000, morever it is the only sector which which is below then 5 millions. Retail had increased consistantly till 2000 and remain almost constant to 2020. Although Health Care and Reatail same jobs with number over 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify several important patterns: manufacturing starts highest, healthcare rises strongly, and agriculture declines. You also give useful figures such as manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 13 million in 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 0.5 million, and retail and healthcare finish at roughly 16 million each; saying healthcare takes “first place” overlooks this tie. The overview also focuses on the starting positions rather than summarising the main changes across the period. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview of the contrasting trends and check each reported figure and comparison against the graph. The main features are relevant, but some are reported less fully or precisely than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing sector trends. Grouping manufacturing with healthcare and agriculture with retail gives the reader a workable route through the data. Linking expressions such as “while,” “conversely,” and “moreover” also show an effort to connect comparisons. At times, however, these links do not express the relationship accurately: “Although Health Care and Reatail same jobs” is incomplete and difficult to follow, and the overview repeats the starting-point comparison rather than previewing the main trends. Improve progression by making the overview a clear summary, then use each body paragraph to compare related changes in a consistent order. Some referencing and cohesion are therefore not fully clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “highest,” “lowest,” “increase,” “falling,” and “remains constant.” These choices make the general trends understandable. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “employement,” “diffenerence,” “empolyemnt,” and “Reatail.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “the range of employment,” “had first place,” and “got first place.” Prefer standard chart language such as “number of jobs,” “was the largest sector,” and “rose to.” Check spelling carefully and use precise terms for changes and rankings. The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but these inaccuracies limit clarity and naturalness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including comparisons with “while” and a time clause in “when manufacturing increase in 1980.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “manufacturing sector had” needs an article, “health care sector increase” has an incorrect verb form, and “Retail had increased … and remain” mixes tenses. The final sentence, “Although Health Care and Reatail same jobs with number over 15 million,” is incomplete because it lacks a main verb. Work on consistent past-tense reporting, articles, subject–verb agreement, and complete clauses. More accurate control of these forms would make your comparisons easier to understand.

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