Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates information about the number of employments in fours industrial sectors in the us from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is clear that , the retail and healthcare sectors increased rapidly during the period from 1960 to 2020. In contrast the Agriculture figure experienced gradually declined trend over the 40 years. On the top of that, the manufacturing jobs the only figure it decreased dramatically over the periods. In 1960, Healthcare sectors began around 2 millions jobs and it's increaseed just above 15 millions last year 2020 . likewise the retail company began near 6 millions and increased over 15 millions from 1960 to 2020. as the manufacturing company only figure that began 15 millions in 1960 and it reached at the the peak of 20 millions before fall dramatically approximately 13 millions in 2020. The Agriculture sectors experienced downward trend nearly 6 millions to 1 millions between 1960 and 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. You also include useful starting and ending figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and about 13 million in 2020. However, some details are inaccurate: healthcare reaches about 16 million, not “just above 15,” and agriculture ends at about 2 million rather than 1 million. The overview also says manufacturing “decreased dramatically,” although its fall from 20 to 13 million is less pronounced than the growth in healthcare and retail. To make the report more complete, compare the sectors at key points—for example, healthcare and retail both finish at around 16 million, while agriculture is the smallest.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph of figures. Its use of “In contrast” and “likewise” helps signal comparisons, and the reader can follow the broad trends. However, the progression is not consistently clear because several ideas are crowded into long, loosely connected sentences, and the overview’s “On the top of that” does not express the intended relationship naturally. The final paragraph moves between healthcare, retail, manufacturing and agriculture without a clear grouping. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and detailed comparisons, and organise the details by rising sectors versus declining or fluctuating sectors. More precise linking and clearer sentence boundaries would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “increased,” “peak,” “trend,” and “declined,” so the main information is generally understandable. There is some attempt to vary expressions, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “number of employments,” “fours industrial sectors,” and “retail company” do not fit the data well. “Dramatically” also overstates the manufacturing decline. Spelling and word-form slips such as “increaseed” and inconsistent capitalisation of “US” and “Agriculture” reduce control. Aim for precise sector names and standard trend collocations, such as “the number of jobs,” “the retail sector,” “rose steadily,” and “fell to approximately.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses and time expressions, and the intended meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction and verb forms are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward. For example, “the Agriculture figure experienced gradually declined trend” combines incompatible structures; write “the number of agricultural jobs declined gradually.” In “the manufacturing jobs the only figure it decreased,” the clause lacks a clear grammatical structure. There are also problems with articles, plurals and agreement in phrases such as “Healthcare sectors began around 2 millions jobs.” Review sentence boundaries and build each comparison around a clear subject and verb. More accurate control of these basic patterns would make your range easier to follow.

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