Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Accoding to this graphe, we are seeing that, in 1960 maunufacturing business growup day by day as well as 1980 20 million people are get job. however graph page are going down start from 1980 also. this is more disadvantage for manufactring sector and it was under 15 millions. if we follow this chart carefully we can see also that, in 1980 was great year for manufacturing, retail business as well as health care sector. But it was a concern side that, in 1980 agrecuture sector graphe go dowe becouse lot of stracture was buid and lack of cultivated land.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes a few relevant observations, including that manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 and then declines, and that agriculture falls. However, it does not provide a clear overview of the main trends across all four sectors, and most of the chart is left unreported: for example, retail rises to about 16 million by 2020, while healthcare grows substantially to the same level. The claim that manufacturing fell below 15 million is broadly consistent with the final figure, but the explanation about buildings and cultivated land is not shown by the graph. The response is also 50 words below the required minimum, limiting its coverage. To improve, summarise the overall changes and compare the sectors using accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence of observations, and phrases such as “if we follow this chart carefully” attempt to guide the reader. However, the response is presented as one paragraph and does not clearly separate an overview from supporting details. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear: “however graph page are going down start from 1980 also” does not specify which series is declining, and the shift from manufacturing to agriculture is abrupt. The repeated use of “also” and “but” does not establish a clear progression. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs comparing the main trends; use precise references such as “manufacturing” or “healthcare” instead of vague wording.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “manufacturing,” “retail,” and “agriculture,” so the reader can identify the chart’s subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the writing less clear, such as “Accoding,” “graphe,” “maunufacturing,” and “agreculture.” Some expressions are also unsuitable or imprecise for describing data: “business growup day by day” and “concern side” do not convey the trends naturally. Aim to use standard chart language and accurate sector names, for example “increased,” “declined,” “reached a peak,” and “employment.” Proofreading spelling and choosing conventional collocations would make the report easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts connected sentences and uses time references, including “in 1960” and “start from 1980,” but the range of sentence structures is limited. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction are frequent: “manufacturing business growup” and “20 million people are get job” do not form accurate clauses, while “graph page are going down” has unclear agreement and structure. The sentence beginning “if we follow this chart carefully” also lacks a clear, grammatically complete continuation. These problems sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise simple, accurate comparisons first, such as “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then fell,” before combining ideas into longer sentences.

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