Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of employments in four areas of the economy in the united states from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the health care is very least at the begnning and increase the most, on the other hand, the manufacturing was the higest in the commence but in end it got decrased.

The manufacturing is at the peak at starting, incresed sharply from 15 to 20 in year 1980, furthermore, it got decline by figures in year 2000 and in the end it comes to 13 in 2020. The retail and healthcare is low in the begnning and got increased with time, in the end these both were on the same point which is 16 in year 2020. In start the agriculture was at high point in comprison with its ending point which is from 6 to 2. Indeed, the manufacturing and agriculture was decreased, on the other hand the retail and healthcare got increased with time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: healthcare rises from the lowest starting point, while manufacturing begins as the largest sector and then declines. You also report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 to 20 before falling to 13, and the equal 2020 totals for retail and healthcare. This addresses the task, but some comparisons are unclear or incomplete. For example, calling retail and healthcare both “low” at the beginning overlooks that healthcare starts at 2 while retail and agriculture are both at 6. The agriculture trend is mentioned, but its flat period from 1980 to 2000 is omitted. Make the overview more precise and compare the sectors’ changing rankings as well as their endpoints.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details, and the final sentence groups the rising and falling sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within the detail paragraph is not always clear: manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture are discussed in quick succession, with limited separation of their trends. Linking words such as “furthermore,” “on the other hand” and “indeed” are sometimes repetitive or do not clearly express the relationship between ideas. Use a clearer sequence—for example, describe manufacturing and agriculture together, then retail and healthcare—and use references such as “the latter two” only when their meaning is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “peak,” “increased,” “decline” and “comparison,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the range and control are limited by noticeable spelling and word-choice problems. “Number of employments” is not a natural way to describe the data; “number of jobs” or “employment” would be more appropriate. Phrases such as “at the commence,” “got decrased” and “at high point” are also awkward or misspelled, and “figures” is vague when describing a fall. Aim for accurate, conventional trend language and check spelling carefully. More precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell” and “remained stable” would make the report clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a contrast between sectors and a sentence describing manufacturing’s rise and subsequent fall. The main trends remain understandable, but grammatical control is inconsistent. For example, “the health care is very least … and increase the most” has problems with article use, comparison and verb form; “the manufacturing was the higest … but in end it got decrased” also has faulty sentence structure and tense. Agreement is inconsistent in “the retail and healthcare is low” and “manufacturing and agriculture was decreased.” Practise forming accurate past-tense comparisons and checking subject–verb agreement. Breaking some long sentences into shorter, complete statements would also reduce errors and improve clarity.

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