Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line chart illustrated the information about employments in four different area of the economy in the United State between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, In the manufacturing sectors made up highest jobs and it had rose but after a time period trend gradually fell. While on the other hand, Retail dramatically went up in creation of jobs in a time sequence, In addition to this, healthcare
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
You identify the chart’s subject and begin to report two relevant trends: manufacturing rises before falling, while retail increases. However, the response stops before giving a complete summary, and the overview is unfinished at “healthcare”. It also says manufacturing “made up highest jobs” without clarifying that it was highest in 1960 and 1980, but was overtaken by retail and healthcare by 2020. The chart’s other key feature—the decline in agriculture—is not reported, and there are no supporting figures or comparisons. The response is also 84 words below the required minimum, which leaves the task only minimally addressed. To improve, complete the overview and add selected figures for all four sectors, especially their relative positions at the end of the period.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The opening sentence establishes the topic, and “Overall” signals an attempt to provide an overview. These are useful beginnings, but the response ends mid-thought after “healthcare”, so there is no complete progression from an introduction to an overview and supporting details. The contrast marker “While on the other hand” is redundant, and the sentence then shifts to “In addition to this” without completing the healthcare point. As a result, connections between ideas are difficult to follow. Organise the report into a brief introduction, a complete overview, and one or two paragraphs comparing the trends. Use linking expressions only where they clarify a genuine relationship.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “line chart”, “manufacturing”, “Retail”, “trend” and “creation of jobs”, so the topic is generally recognisable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “employments” is not the usual uncountable noun for this context, “different area” is imprecise, and “went up in creation of jobs” is an awkward collocation. “In a time sequence” also does not clearly describe change over time. These choices make the limited description less precise, though the main subject remains understandable. Build a small set of accurate trend phrases, such as “the number of jobs increased”, “employment declined”, and “reached a peak”, and use sector names consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts more than simple statements, using a relative clause in “four different area of the economy” and contrast structures such as “While on the other hand”. However, the sentence patterns are limited, and several errors affect accuracy. For example, “manufacturing sectors made up highest jobs” lacks an article and has an unsuitable verb construction; “it had rose” uses an incorrect past participle; and “Retail dramatically went up …, In addition to this” creates a faulty, unfinished sentence with incorrect punctuation and capitalisation. The final clause is incomplete. Practise forming clear past-tense comparisons, for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then declined.” Check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries before finishing.
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