Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below illustrates information about the number of jobs in four different sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020

Healthcare Jobs remains the highest over the period of time while the agriculture jobs remains the lowest and retail remains the same economy with healthcare and manufacturing fluctuate over the period of time

In 1960 health care economy was 0.3 millions and increased to 15 millions in 2020 while the agriculture was 6 million in 1960 and see a drastically decreased to 0.1 millions in 2020

Retail was 6 millions in 1960 and increased to 15 millions in 2020 remains the same with healthcare and at the last manufacturing was 15 millions in 1960 then increased to 20 millions in 1980 then decline to 16 millions in 2000 then again slightly decreased to 13 millions in 2020 so the retails economy jobs fluctuate over the period of time with highs and lows

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 followed by decline, and agriculture’s overall fall. However, important details are inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 0.3 million, and reaches about 16 million, not 15; agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 0.1. Retail rises to about 16 million, rather than 15. The overview also incorrectly says healthcare is highest throughout; it begins lowest and only catches retail by 2020. The response is 145 words, below the 150-word minimum. Add a clearer, accurate overview and select key comparisons to develop rather than listing trends briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly sensible order: it introduces the graph, gives an overview, and then reports figures for the sectors. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “in 1960” and “in 2020” help locate information in time. However, the overview is difficult to follow because several trends are compressed into one sentence, and the final sentence combines retail and manufacturing without a clear transition. There are no paragraph breaks to distinguish the overview from the detailed comparisons. Use separate paragraphs and organise the details by contrasting trends—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together. More precise linking and referencing would make the progression clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary such as “increased,” “decreased,” “decline,” and “fluctuate,” so the reader can recognise the intended trends. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. “Healthcare Jobs remains the highest” and “the same economy” do not express the comparisons clearly, while “the retails economy jobs” is an awkward description. “Drastically decreased” overstates the agriculture change, which falls from about 6 million to 2 million. Use standard sector labels and precise trend language, and avoid repeating “over the period of time.” A broader range of accurate terms such as “rose steadily,” “fell gradually,” and “overtook” would improve clarity and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect several ideas in longer sentences, and it uses past-tense verbs to describe historical changes. However, sentence control is inconsistent, with frequent errors in agreement, articles, tense, and punctuation. For example, “Healthcare Jobs remains” has a plural subject with a singular verb, while “the agriculture jobs remains” repeats the agreement problem. The overview sentence beginning “while the agriculture jobs…” lacks clear grammatical structure, and the long final sentence runs several comparisons together without adequate punctuation. Use shorter, complete sentences and check subject–verb agreement and articles. A controlled mix of simple and compound sentences would make the data easier to understand.

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