Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The supplied line chart illustrates, the numerical data of US economy in a four departments from year 1960 to 2020.

At a first glance, it can be seen that, the manifacturing sectors have the highest jobs in millions throughout the decades,But it fall in the year 1980 till 2020. While the Agriculture has decline gradually from the year 1960 to 2020.

To begin with, the manufacturing has the highest jobs in 1960 with 15 millions and it has shown the rise till 1980 and then drop down to around 13 millions until the year 2020. While the retail sector have comperatively low at the begins of the graph but till 2000 it rise gradually and till 2020 it reached at approximate 16 millions of jobs.

However, the agriculture starts with around 6 millions of job and till 2020 it gradually reduce till 1 million. While on the other hand, Healthcare is constantly rising from 1 million to 16 million in just 80 years. Which shows similarity with the retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare increase. You also include several useful figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and retail at about 16 million in 2020. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing does not remain the largest sector throughout, since retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, above manufacturing at 13 million. Some details also need closer reporting: manufacturing peaks in 1980 at 20 million, and agriculture ends at about 2 million rather than 1 million. The comparison between retail and healthcare is mentioned but not explained. A more precise overview and fuller comparison of the final figures would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the four sectors. This gives the reader a generally coherent account, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “However” signal shifts between points. At times, though, the progression is weakened by mechanical or unclear linking. Several sentences begin with “While,” including fragments that do not connect smoothly to a main clause, and the final “Which shows similarity” has an unclear reference. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together would make comparisons easier to follow. Use linking expressions to show relationships between data, rather than repeatedly starting sentences with contrast markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “line chart,” “gradually,” “rise,” “drop,” and “sector,” so the main trends are usually understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “numerical data of US economy in a four departments,” “highest jobs,” and “drop down.” Spelling errors in “manifacturing” and “comperatively” also reduce accuracy. Some repetition of “rise” and “gradually” limits the range. Aim for precise, natural expressions such as “number of jobs,” “employment in the manufacturing sector,” “peaked at,” and “declined to.” This would make the description clearer and more appropriately formal without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the main trends can generally be understood. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries. For example, “the retail sector have” should use a singular verb, while “the Agriculture has decline” needs a correctly formed verb phrase. The opening also has an unnecessary comma after “illustrates,” and “Which shows similarity with the retail sector” is a sentence fragment. Several clauses beginning with “While” are not integrated into complete sentences. Practise forming complete comparisons and checking subject–verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts easier to read.

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