Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 to 2020.

Altogather the higest number jobs was in manufacturing sector in year 1980 but it reduced afterward.On the other hand the lowest number of jobs was observed in agriculture sector overall.

If we see closely the manufacturing jobs were 15 million in year 1960 but and increased to 20 in year 1980 then it goes on decreasing till it reaches 17 million in year 2000,then to 13 million in year 2020.Agriculture sector started on 6 million but unlike manufacturing sector it started decreasing right after and reached 3 million in year 1980.From 1980 to 2000 it remained on same number but goes on decreasing to 2 million in year 2020.

While healthcare sector had 2 million jobs in year 1960 then increased till it reaches to 5 million jobs in 1960 and again goes on increasing to 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020.Similarly we can see same increasing trend in retail sector which in 1960 had 6 million jobs and goes to 10 in 1980,then 15 million in 2000 until it reaches 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, agriculture is the smallest sector overall, and retail and healthcare rise. Most figures are consistent with the graph. However, the healthcare account contains a key year error: employment rises from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, not 1960. The overview could also make the final comparison clearer: by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint highest at about 16 million, while manufacturing has fallen to 13 million. Some details are reported more fully than others, and the overview does not capture this ending comparison, so selecting and highlighting the most important features more precisely would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture and then healthcare with retail makes the trends easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand,” “While,” and “Similarly” help signal comparisons, although some transitions feel mechanical and the final paragraph mostly lists figures rather than directly comparing the two rising sectors. Several sentences are also crowded together, with missing spaces after full stops and commas, which interrupts the flow. Use clearer sentence boundaries and connect related figures within each period—for example, compare retail and healthcare in 2020—to make progression smoother and cohesion less dependent on repeated linking words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “increased,” “decreasing,” “remained,” and “trend,” and the sector names are generally clear. The range is adequate, but several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “Altogather” and “higest” are misspelled, while “number jobs” is missing a natural linking word. Phrases such as “goes on decreasing” and “reaches to” are awkward for describing data, and “started on 6 million” is not a natural collocation. Aim for concise, conventional reporting language such as “declined,” “stood at,” and “rose to.” Proofreading spelling and choosing more precise collocations would make the account more fluent and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses linked with “but,” “while,” and “which,” and the main trends remain understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur. The introduction uses “in US” and “between 1960 to 2020,” where the article and time expression need correction. In “healthcare sector had 2 million jobs … then increased till it reaches to 5 million jobs in 1960,” the tense shifts and the year is inconsistent with the sequence; use past-tense forms consistently and identify 1980. There are also missing spaces after punctuation and run-on sentences, particularly in the manufacturing description. Build accuracy by separating long sentences and checking articles, tense consistency, and punctuation.

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