Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph provid key information about works numbers four sectours diffrent in US between [redacted phone]overall it is clear form the graph that numbers of jobs 4sectors in addition retail 6millions jobs than up 16jobsM in 2020healthcare 2jobsmillion 1960increase 16JMin 2020whereas agriculture 6MJ 1960reduce 2Jmin2020manufacturing 15MJ in 1960

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as retail rising from 6 million jobs to 16 million and healthcare increasing from 2 million to 16 million. However, the account is extremely brief and does not provide a clear overview of the main patterns or meaningful comparisons across the period. Manufacturing is mentioned only at its 1960 level, with its later peak and decline omitted; retail’s gradual rise and agriculture’s overall fall are also not explained. The phrase “numbers of jobs 4 sectors” does not establish a clear main feature. The response is 47 words, well below the required 150, so it cannot adequately summarise the graph. Develop an overview and report the key changes and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to move through the sectors, and words such as “whereas” show an effort to connect contrasting information. However, the response is presented as one continuous, largely unpunctuated sequence, so the reader has difficulty identifying where one idea ends and another begins. For example, “retail 6millions jobs than up 16jobsM in 2020healthcare” runs together two separate trends. The order of information is not developed into a clear introduction, overview, and detail. Use separate sentences or paragraphs, add full stops, and group related comparisons—for instance, the rising sectors together and agriculture’s decline separately—to make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “jobs,” “sectors,” “increase,” and “reduce,” and attempts to express changes over time. However, spelling and word-form errors are frequent, as in “provid,” “sectours,” and “diffrent,” and several phrases are difficult to interpret, including “numbers of jobs 4sectors.” Expressions such as “16jobsM” and “6MJ” are not clear or standard ways to report figures. Use consistent forms such as “16 million jobs” and accurate verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” or “remained stable.” A wider range of precise trend language, used in complete and correctly formed phrases, would make the data easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to form a longer sentence and use a contrast clause with “whereas,” but most of the response consists of fragments rather than complete sentences. For example, “healthcare 2jobsmillion 1960increase 16JMin 2020” has no clear subject–verb structure, and the opening lacks a complete, correctly punctuated sentence. Tense and sentence relationships are also unclear, making it difficult to tell which figures belong to which sector. The response shows very little range beyond compressed statements. Practise writing simple complete sentences first, such as “Healthcare employment rose from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020,” then combine related trends with accurate conjunctions and punctuation.

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