Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the graph iilustrate information about the numbaer of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020.

over all , the highest increased in number of jobs in healthcare sector and number of jobs decreased in agriculture sector.

In the manufacturing sector the number of jobs rose in 1980 after that they dropped till 2020. In retail and healthcare sector the number of jobs went up simultaneously 1960 to 1980 then they soared up both 1980 to 2000 after that in healthcare sector jobs escalated and in retail they are level off . finally in the agriculture sector the number of jobs dropped from 1960 to 2020.

the demands of healthcare and retail sector are increased and on the other hand manufacturing and agriculture are decreasedin 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview: healthcare rises overall, while agriculture declines. You also note that manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, which matches the graph. However, several comparisons are inaccurate or unclear. Retail and healthcare do not both rise sharply from 1980 to 2000: retail increases from about 10 to 15 million, while healthcare rises from about 5 to 11 million; by 2020 both are around 16 million, rather than retail simply levelling off. The final claim that manufacturing and agriculture “are decreased” in 2020 is also imprecise. The response is 11 words below the required minimum, and the limited detail leaves key trends underdeveloped. Add accurate figures and a clearer overview of the ending rankings.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic sequence: an introduction, an overview, and then comments on the sectors. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “after that” and “on the other hand” attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is not consistently clear because several trends are compressed into one long sentence, especially the comparison of retail and healthcare. “Finally” introduces agriculture, but the final sentence then returns to a broad comparison without clearly linking it to the earlier details. Some linking expressions are repetitive or do not show the relationship precisely. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the main details, and group sectors with similar trends. Clearer sentence boundaries and references would make the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “dropped,” “soared,” and “level off,” so the general meaning is usually understandable. There is also an attempt to vary wording with “escalated.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural in this context: “highest increased” does not express the largest rise, “demands” is not what the graph measures, and “jobs escalated” is an awkward collocation. Spelling errors such as “iilustrate” and “numbaer” are noticeable, while “decreasedin” appears to be an uncorrected typing error. Aim for precise, conventional chart language such as “the number of jobs increased” and “employment fell,” and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine ideas using time clauses and contrast, for example, “In the manufacturing sector … after that they dropped till 2020.” However, the response relies heavily on simple patterns, and the longer sentence about retail and healthcare becomes difficult to control. There are frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation: “the highest increased” lacks a grammatical structure, “the number of jobs went up … then they soared” shifts from singular “number” to plural “they,” and “the demands … are increased” uses an incorrect verb form. Capitalisation and comma spacing are also inconsistent. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences with consistent subjects and past-tense verbs, then combine them using accurate clauses and punctuation.

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