Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The chart illustrates information about the jobs available in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, total number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased gradually. But the number of jobs available in manufacturing and agriculture fluctuated over time and eventually decreased.

Healthcare sector showed the most growth over time.The jobs in healthcare system increased more than six times and rose to more than 15 millions jobs available from nearly 2.5 million. Retail section also depicted rise over time nearing equal amount of jobs as healthcare system although it had around 6 million jobs in the 1960.

In case of manufacturing sector, it jumped from 15 millions to 20 millions in first 20 years ([redacted phone]) but then, it showed a declining trend over the years.in 2020, only around 13 millions jobs were available in this sector which is less than that of 1960.Agriculture sector displayed a modest decline over the time reaching from nearly 6million jobs to almost its half.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall contrast: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture finish lower than they began. The key figures you include are broadly accurate, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million and its fall to about 13 million, and healthcare’s rise from roughly 2.5 million to above 15 million. This gives the report a clear overview and relevant supporting detail. However, the overview says retail and healthcare increased “gradually,” which oversimplifies their different patterns, and describing manufacturing and agriculture as both “fluctuated” is imprecise: agriculture declines and then levels off briefly. You could strengthen the comparison by noting that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, while agriculture is the smallest sector.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable progression from an introduction and overview to discussion of the growing sectors and then the declining sectors. Phrases such as “Overall,” “In case of manufacturing,” and “but then” help signal relationships, and the reader can follow the main comparisons. To make the organisation more controlled, separate the overview clearly from the detailed comparisons and group related trends consistently. Some transitions are awkward or mechanically applied, and the final two sector descriptions run together after “years.in 2020,” which interrupts the flow. Referencing could also be clearer: “it” in the retail sentence and “this sector” are understandable, but repeating the sector name at key points would make comparisons easier to track. More precise linking would support smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “declining trend,” “modest decline,” “rose,” and “depicted,” so the main trends are communicated without difficulty. There are also attempts to vary wording rather than repeat “jobs” throughout. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise for describing a graph: “jobs available” suggests vacancies, “retail section” is less suitable than “retail sector,” and “healthcare system” does not accurately name the employment sector. “Increased more than six times” is also an awkward way to express the change. Aim for standard collocations such as “employment in healthcare rose” and “the number of jobs fell.” This would make the vocabulary more precise and natural while retaining the range already attempted.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex structures, including contrast with “but” and a time clause in “although it had around 6 million jobs.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical and punctuation errors recur. For example, “Overall, total number” needs an article, “15 millions jobs” should use the plural form “million” before a noun, and “less than that of 1960” has an unclear comparison structure. The sentence beginning “in 2020” is joined directly to the previous sentence after a full stop without a space, and sentence-initial capitals are inconsistent. Review articles, number expressions, and sentence boundaries, then check each sentence for a clear subject and comparison. Greater accuracy in these areas would make your varied structures more effective.

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