Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart illustrate the data about the amount of jobs in four sectors of the economy in United State between 1960 and 2020. The information given in millions.

By overall analysis, It's clearly seen that the number of jobs in Healthcare and Retail sector show upward trend and Agriculture demonstrate downward trend.

To begin with, In 1960, the amount of jobs in Healthcare was 2 million while the Manufacturing was highest with 15 million and Retail or Agriculture was 5 million. Moreover, 1980, The Manufacturing was rose into 20 million at the peak However the Agriculture was decline into 3 million.

In addition to this, The Retail and Healthcare was slowly climbed year decade after decade. Additionally, in 2000, the Manufacturing rapidly decreased into 12 million. Futhermore, The Agriculture was 2 million and The Retail and Healthcare in same position with 16 million. Lastly, the Manufacturing was decline into 13 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad pattern that healthcare and retail rise while agriculture declines, and you include several figures. However, the account is only partially complete: the overview omits manufacturing’s rise to a peak and subsequent fall, and the final comparison is inaccurate. In 2000, retail was about 15 million and healthcare about 11 million, not both 16 million; 16 million is approximately their 2020 figure. The 2000 manufacturing value is about 17 million, rather than 12 million. The response also falls short of the 150-word minimum: 143 words were counted, with nine words copied from the prompt excluded. Include a fuller overview and check each figure against the relevant year.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details, and sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “In addition to this,” and “Lastly” help signal progression. However, the body does not consistently organise comparisons by time or sector, and some transitions are mechanical or do not clarify the relationship between facts. For example, the 2000 figures are grouped together despite being misreported, while the 2020 retail and healthcare figures are not clearly distinguished from them. The overview also mentions only three sectors. Grouping the main trends first and then comparing the figures at each date would make the progression clearer and reduce reliance on formulaic connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “downward trend,” “peak,” and “decreased,” so the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. The range is nevertheless limited, with repeated use of “amount,” “jobs,” and “million,” and several inaccurate or awkward choices affect clarity. For instance, “the amount of jobs” is less suitable than “the number of jobs,” while “slowly climbed” does not accurately describe the steady increases shown. “Rapidly decreased” also overstates the manufacturing decline. There are spelling errors such as “Futhermore,” and sector names are inconsistently capitalised. Use precise trend verbs and vary expressions for describing figures and changes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors occur in basic sentence patterns as well as more complex clauses. Examples include “The line chart illustrate,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “the Manufacturing was rose,” which uses an incorrect verb construction. Several sentences lack a clear grammatical frame, such as “Moreover, 1980, The Manufacturing was rose into 20 million at the peak However…” Articles and sentence boundaries are also problematic, including the capitalisation after commas and the run-on connection around “However.” Practise accurate past-tense forms, subject–verb agreement, and complete clauses; use full stops to separate comparisons when needed.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.