Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph display data about account of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.
By overall analysis, it is clearly seen that the number jobs in healthcare sector show upward trend and manufacturing sector display downward trend.
To begin with, the account of jobs was15 millions in 1960 in manufacturing sector and it was rapidly increase in 1980 with 20 than it was declined in 2000, 2020 with 17and 13 million.Moreover, the figure of employement in retail sector was almost 7million in 1960 and it was inclined all year and it was 16 million in 2020.
Turning to the next points, the ammount of jobs in agriculture sector was 5 million in 1960 and it was remain same with 3million in 1980 and 2000. and it was declined in 2020 with 2 million. Furthermore, the number of jobs in healthcare sector was almost 2 mllion in 1960 and it was inclined in all years and 16 million was in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the main broad patterns: healthcare rises, manufacturing falls after a peak, retail increases, and agriculture declines. The manufacturing figures are reported accurately, and the final retail and healthcare values match the chart. However, the overview is incomplete: it does not mention that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, or that agriculture remains the smallest sector. Some figures are inaccurate, including agriculture at 5 million rather than about 6 million in 1960, and retail at almost 7 rather than about 6 million. The description also says manufacturing declined in both 2000 and 2020 without clearly giving the 2000 value in a readable way. Select the key comparisons and report approximate values consistently.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic structure, with an opening, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. Phrases such as “To begin with” and “Turning to the next points” help signal a change in focus. However, progression within the body is sometimes unclear: the manufacturing sentence combines several years and figures in a crowded sequence, while the agriculture and healthcare details are joined with a full stop followed by “and.” The repeated use of “Moreover” and “Furthermore” does not always clarify how the information relates. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, then using clear year-by-year comparisons, would make the organisation easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “declined,” and “inclined,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors and changes being discussed. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “account of jobs,” “By overall analysis,” and “the figure … was inclined.” Spelling errors in “employement,” “ammount,” and “mllion” also reduce accuracy. Use standard chart language and vary it carefully: for example, “number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose,” and “fell.” Check spelling and choose verbs that naturally collocate with figures and trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
Most sentences communicate a basic comparison or trend, but the response relies heavily on simple clauses joined by “and,” and attempts at longer sentences are often faulty. For example, “it was rapidly increase in 1980” has an incorrect verb form, while “it was remain same” is also grammatically inaccurate. There are recurring problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “the number jobs” and “and it was declined.” Missing spaces and punctuation in sequences such as “15 millions” and “17and 13 million” further affect readability. Practise accurate past-tense forms and build shorter, clearly punctuated sentences before combining ideas.
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