Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This line graph illustrates information related to the total quantity of jobs in four sectors related to economy in the US between the years of 1960 and 2020

In 1960 jobs in healthcare sector were at there minimum level but as we go onward we see that it gradually increases which was particularly very good for the people linked to this sector

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response makes a relevant start by identifying the graph’s subject and noting that healthcare employment rose from a low point. However, it does not provide the required summary of the main features: there is no overview comparing the sectors, and the other three trends are not reported. The statement that healthcare was at its minimum in 1960 is supported by the chart, but the comment that this was “very good for the people” is an unsupported opinion rather than a description of the data. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, leaving the task only minimally addressed. To improve, add an overview and compare the key changes, including manufacturing’s peak and decline and the growth in retail and healthcare.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph and then gives one observation about healthcare. The phrase “but as we go onward” signals a change over time, so there is a small attempt to connect ideas. However, the response is too brief to establish a clear overall progression, and it has no paragraphing or linking of comparisons among the four sectors. The healthcare sentence also shifts from reporting the chart to commenting on its effect on people, which interrupts the focus. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and detail paragraphs, using clear links such as “by contrast” and “while” to compare trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “line graph,” “quantity,” “sectors,” and “increases,” and the general topic remains understandable. However, several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “total quantity of jobs” and “sectors related to economy.” “Very good for the people linked to this sector” is informal and evaluative rather than suitable for an objective chart summary. The limited range also means that the response cannot describe the different patterns shown in the graph. Use precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment in the healthcare sector,” “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “reached a peak” to report the data more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts both a simple introductory sentence and a longer sentence with a time clause, showing some variety. Meaning is generally recoverable, but there are errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms. For example, “between the years of 1960 and 2020” is an awkwardly formed time expression, and “jobs in healthcare sector were at there minimum level” has problems with article use and the possessive form (“their,” not “there”). The long sentence beginning “but as we go onward” also shifts into the present tense and uses an unclear construction. Aim for controlled, direct sentences, such as “Healthcare employment was lowest in 1960, at about two million, and then rose steadily.”

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