Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates changes in the number of jobs across four different economies sectors, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare, and Manufacturing in the US between [redacted phone].

Overall, while manufacturing provided the highly number of jobs at the beginning of the period, health care experienced a significant upward to became the dominated sector in 2020. While retail and agriculture sectors are remain constant and no such a big change during this time period.

Looking the details, in 1960, manufacturing are strating 15 million jobs peaked at 20 millions in early 1980's, after a period in 2000 its floped to 17 million and below than 15 million in 2020.

conversely, health care is the lowest job sector in 1960 below than 5 million while its also increased to 15 million in 2020. agriculture are experienced downward in whole period from 5 million to 2 million, retails are also experi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the main contrast: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, while healthcare rises substantially and becomes one of the leading sectors by 2020. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and agriculture’s decline to 2 million. However, the overview is partly inaccurate: retail does not remain constant, rising from 6 to 16 million, and healthcare reaches about 16 million, tying with retail rather than clearly dominating it. The account of retail is cut off, and some trends are incomplete or imprecise. The response also falls four words short of the required minimum. To strengthen coverage, complete the retail comparison and report the key end-point figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details, and connectors such as “Overall” and “conversely” help signal relationships. However, progression is weakened by the incomplete final sentence (“retails are also experi”), which leaves a key series unexplained and makes the ending abrupt. The overview also groups retail and agriculture as broadly unchanged, although their trends differ considerably. Some transitions are awkward or unclear, and the long detail sentence about manufacturing would be easier to follow if divided into stages. Use separate, complete sentences to compare the rising sectors and the declining sector, and ensure each paragraph develops one clear point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “peaked,” “increased,” “downward,” and “sector,” and the reader can generally identify the trends you intend to describe. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “the highly number of jobs,” “a significant upward,” “the dominated sector,” and “floped.” There are also spelling and form errors, including “strating” and “retails.” These problems make parts of the description difficult to interpret and limit precision. Build a reliable set of trend expressions—for example, “the highest number of jobs,” “rose significantly,” and “declined”—and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex structures, including a contrast with “while” and a time sequence describing manufacturing. However, errors are frequent and sometimes make the relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “health care experienced a significant upward to became,” “sectors are remain constant,” and “manufacturing are strating.” These show problems with verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. Articles and comparisons are also faulty in phrases such as “below than 15 million.” Aim first for accurate basic clauses: “Healthcare rose significantly,” and “Manufacturing fell to 13 million by 2020.” Then combine clauses with “while” or “whereas” only after checking that each verb agrees and each sentence is complete.

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