Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given chart tells us about different jobs in four sectors; Menufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the income in US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, Manufacturing has highest number of jobs that is 15 millions in 1960, In contrast, Healthcare remaind at the lowestIn in the given period. In 1960, Retail and Agriculture remaind stable on 7 millions jobs. Jobs in healthcare was 2 millions and then this figure rapidly rose to 15 millions in 2020. This was a significant increase. In Manufacturing, 15 millions peoples have job in 1960 and this number of jobs climbed to 20 millions in 1980 and then sharply dropped to 13 millions in 2020. Retail was also dramatically climbed to 16 millions in 2020. By comparing, Healthcare also remaind equalled with Retail. Jobs in Agriculture was 6 millions in 1960 and then this number steadily gone down to 2 millions in 2020. Retail and Healthcare remaind stable in 2020. On the other hand, Agriculture slowly dropped in 2020 and remaind lowest point.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion4.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main movements across the four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 before falling, and agriculture declining to 2 million by 2020. The overview also attempts to contrast the sectors. However, some key comparisons are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing is not the highest throughout the period, and healthcare does not remain the lowest across the whole period. In 2020, healthcare and retail are both about 16 million, while manufacturing is lower at about 13 million. The statement that retail and agriculture were both at 7 million in 1960 also differs from the chart, which shows about 6 million each. Make the overview more precise and distinguish the starting, peak and ending positions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response includes relevant information and uses basic linking expressions such as “In contrast,” “then” and “On the other hand.” However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the account moves from an overview to 1960 figures, then to sector trends, and finally repeats the 2020 comparison. The final sentences, especially “Retail and Healthcare remaind stable in 2020,” are difficult to connect to the preceding details. Paragraphing would help separate the overview from the detailed comparisons, while grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sector separately would create a clearer sequence. Some linking phrases are also used without a clear comparison, so ensure each one accurately signals the relationship between the information.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “climbed,” “dropped,” “rose” and “steadily,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors and changes you mean. However, word choice and spelling errors reduce precision: “income” is not the right term for the number of jobs, “peoples have job” is awkward, and “remined” appears repeatedly where you mean “remained.” “Dramatically climbed” is also an unnatural collocation in this context. Aim for accurate, conventional chart language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe the number of jobs as employment or jobs, and use “increased” or “rose” with a clear figure rather than relying on vague intensifiers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including sequences linked with “and then,” and most of the intended trends can be understood. However, errors in sentence structure and verb forms are noticeable. For example, “Retail was also dramatically climbed” combines incompatible verb patterns; write “Retail employment also climbed.” In “Jobs in Agriculture was 6 millions,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the plural form is incorrect. The sentence beginning “Overall” also contains a run-on sequence and unclear punctuation. Practise forming complete sentences with consistent tense, subject–verb agreement and accurate singular or plural forms. Using a few well-controlled complex sentences would improve range without sacrificing clarity.

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