Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the number of positions in the manufacturing, agriculture retail and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall it can be seen , manufacturing initially increased but then gradually declined whereas retail and healthcare grew, employment down up in agriculture.

In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing at 15 million, While the figure for retail was at 6 million. manufacturing then rose to reached 20 million in 1980.after it was gradually declined at 12 million in 2020. where as the figure for retail increased steadily and reached 16 million in the 2020.

In 1960, the number of job in agriculture was about 6 million when the healthcare was at 3 million .The figure for agriculture then gradually decreased at 1 million in 2020 whereas employment in healthcare gradually increased and reached at 14 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and report several central trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 before falling and retail and healthcare rising. The comparisons between manufacturing and retail are relevant, and the agriculture decline is also noted. However, some figures are inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million, and reaches about 16 million in 2020, rather than 14 million; agriculture ends near 2 million, not 1 million. The overview phrase “employment down up in agriculture” is unclear, and the response does not fully capture the relative endpoint levels, with retail and healthcare both around 16 million. The response is also 7 words below the required minimum. Include a clearer overview and check key figures to report the main features more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs grouping manufacturing with retail and agriculture with healthcare. This makes the information generally easy to follow. You also use basic sequencing and contrast markers such as “Overall,” “whereas,” and “then.” However, some links are mechanical or unclear, particularly “employment down up in agriculture,” and the transitions between sentences are weakened by inconsistent punctuation and capitalisation. The detail paragraphs could also make comparisons more explicit rather than listing each trend separately. Keep the useful grouping, but make the overview a complete, clear summary and use linking phrases to show how the sectors compare.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “increased,” “declined,” “steadily,” and “reached,” and the reader can generally understand which sectors are being discussed. However, the range is limited and some word choices or combinations are inaccurate, such as “number of positions” for jobs and “employment down up.” There is also repetition of “the figure” and “number of jobs,” while “gradually” is used for trends that could be described more precisely. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and vary the language used to report changes. For example, describe a peak, a fall, or a rise in employment, and use “stood at” when giving a figure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “whereas,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors are frequent enough to affect clarity. Examples include the incomplete clause “the number of jobs in manufacturing at 15 million,” the faulty sequence “rose to reached,” and “it was gradually declined,” where the verb form is incorrect. There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, such as “1980.after,” and inconsistent capitalisation after full stops. Articles and number forms also need attention, as in “the number of job.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check verb forms and punctuation before finishing.

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