Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates information about how many of jobs in four sector of economy in the US from 1960 until 2020.

Overall, manufacturing jobs was the most for long time while agriculture jobs finished most of the period in the smaller number of jobs. however, the healthcare category is the best update.

Firstly, manufacturing jobs started with the big number that 15 million in 1960 and increased to 20 million in 1980 while In the same period also retail and Healthcare jobs showed rise but agriculture started with dicrease in this period before stayed constant until 2000 and fall slightly at the last.

Secondly, in 1980 to 2000 manufacturing jobs dicreased and stayed fall to been approximate 13 million in 2020. However retail started from 10 million in the period and climbed to 15 million also healthcare increased from number of 5 million to been approximate 12 million.

Finally, in 2000 to 2020 both of retail and healthcare jumped to first place of jobs with number 16millon. However, manufacturing category been in the third place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 and then declines, agriculture falls overall, and healthcare and retail grow. However, the overview is unclear and includes an inaccurate claim that manufacturing was the largest “for long time”; by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint leaders at about 16 million. Some details are also imprecise: manufacturing falls to about 13 million by 2020, not simply “stayed fall,” and healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. The account gives limited comparison across the full period and does not clearly summarise the main ranking changes. State the overall trends and endpoint comparisons accurately, then support them with selected figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, with an opening, an attempted overview, and paragraphs introduced by “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Finally.” This gives the reader some sense of sequence, and the time periods provide a useful organising principle. However, progression is not consistently clear: the first detail paragraph covers 1960–1980 but also mentions agriculture through 2000 and 2020, while the next paragraph repeats some trends. Linking words such as “However” are sometimes used where the relationship between ideas is not a contrast. Paragraphing and sequencing the information by clear time periods or by rising and falling sectors would make the comparisons easier to follow. Use references such as “this figure” or “the sector” to connect ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “increased,” “climbed,” “decreased,” “constant,” and “million,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “the best update,” “started with the big number,” and “jumped to first place of jobs.” These expressions make the description less precise, especially when reporting rankings and changes. Spelling errors such as “dicrease” and “dicreased,” along with “16millon,” also reduce control. Build a more accurate set of trend phrases, for example “reached a peak,” “declined steadily,” and “jointly recorded the highest figures,” and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine information in longer sentences, using clauses with “while” and “however,” but control is inconsistent and the range of sentence structures remains limited. Errors occur in basic sentence patterns and agreement: “how many of jobs,” “four sector,” and “manufacturing jobs was” should be revised. Verb forms are also faulty in phrases such as “stayed fall to been approximate 13 million,” and capitalization and punctuation are inconsistent, as in “however” after a full stop and “In” mid-sentence. These problems sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to interpret. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and simple comparative structures first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries.

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