Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors retail,manufacturing,agriculture,and healthcare in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall,the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture was dropped after the 1980,while the retail and healthcare was significantly rise in this duration.

However, the retail was climb up to 15 million and the healthcare was grewed upto 12 million both of them is a dominant factor they raised job upto 16 million after the 2000 or in the 2020, but fallen steady in manufacturing and agriculture was dropped by 3 to 12 million in 2020.

In conctrast, retail and healthcare grew significantly where retail rose upto 10 million in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and by 16 million in 2020.Or the healthcare climb upto 6 miilion and then 15 million in 2020, but the others two was dropped and fell upto 3 million in agriculture and 12 million in manufacturing in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline after 1980, while retail and healthcare rise, and you include several relevant figures. The account also notes that retail and healthcare reach about 16 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare is reported as reaching 15 million in 2020, although the chart shows about 16 million, and its 1980 figure is about 5 million rather than 6. The overview could also state the key ranking more clearly: manufacturing is highest in 1960 and 1980, while retail and healthcare are joint leaders in 2020. Some trends are repeated rather than developed through clear comparisons, so the main features are covered unevenly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an identifiable introduction, overview and detail, and it groups the rising sectors against the declining ones. This gives the reader a basic sense of organisation. However, progression is weakened by repetition: the final paragraph repeats the figures and trends already given in the preceding paragraph. Connectors such as “However,” “In contrast,” and “Or” do not always express the relationship intended, and the reference in “both of them” is not fully clear. Organise the details into a paragraph for the two rising sectors and one for the declining sectors, and avoid restating the same comparisons. More accurate linking and clearer references would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sectors,” “rose,” “climb,” and “dropped,” so the subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning less natural: “was climb up,” “grewed,” and “dominant factor” do not fit the intended descriptions. Spelling errors such as “conctrast” and “miilion” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise verbs that describe movement and use standard collocations for figures, such as “employment rose to” or “the number of jobs fell to.” Avoid repeating “upto”; use “to” when reporting a value.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the overall meaning can usually be recovered. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in verb forms and subject–verb agreement. Examples include “the number of jobs … was dropped,” “the retail was climb,” and “both of them is,” where the verb forms do not match the subject or intended tense. Some sentences also combine several ideas without clear grammatical structure, especially the sentence beginning “However, the retail…” Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and full stops. Build shorter, complete sentences first, using past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, then combine ideas with accurate clauses.

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