Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US, [redacted phone]. There are four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Explanation on this is discusse in below paragraph.

Firstly manufacturing unit in year 1960 there was 15 millions worker working there but it rapidly increase in year 1980 from 15 to 20 millions increase of 5 million workers but in year 2000 it decrease by 3 million worker and in year 2020 it more decrease by more 3 million worker reaching to 14 millions workers

In retail and agriculture the retail industry start from 6 million in year 1960 and goes up to 10 million in 1980 after that also it goes up in year 2000 and 2020 also reaching it to 16 million workers but in agriculture it also started from 6 million but it goes down in year 1980 and it capt goes down till year 2020 leading 2 million workers .

In healthcare sector it start from 2 million worker in 1960 but it rapidly increases from year 1980 to 2020 reaching it out to 16 million workers

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 followed by decline, and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the response only partially summarises the graph because it lacks a clear overview of the main comparisons. In particular, it does not highlight that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs by 2020, or that healthcare grows especially strongly after 1980. Some figures are inaccurate or imprecise: manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020, not 14, and retail is already about 15 million in 2000. Add a concise overview and select the most important comparisons to make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction followed by sections on manufacturing, retail and agriculture, and healthcare. This gives the reader some organisation, and words such as “Firstly,” “but” and “after that” indicate sequence or contrast. However, progression is not consistently clear. The opening sentence, “Explanation on this is discusse in below paragraph,” does not introduce a useful overview, while the long middle paragraph combines two sectors and several time points without clear sentence boundaries. Some links are repetitive or awkward, such as repeated uses of “but” and “also.” Organise the report around an overview and then two focused detail paragraphs, using clearer links to compare trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant basic terms such as “increase,” “decrease,” “reaching” and “workers,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the vocabulary range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. Phrases such as “manufacturing unit,” “it capt goes down,” and “reaching it out to 16 million” make parts difficult to interpret. “Rapidly” is also not well suited to a change shown across long intervals unless the graph supports that emphasis. Use precise trend language and vary it with expressions such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked at” and “stood at.” Check spelling and word forms, including “discussed,” to improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to describe changes across several years, but it relies mainly on long, loosely joined sentences and shows frequent errors in sentence structure and verb forms. For example, “the retail industry start from 6 million … and goes up” shifts tense, while “in year 2000 it decrease” has an incorrect verb form. Articles and plurals are also often missing or inaccurate, as in “in US” and “15 millions worker.” Punctuation is limited, particularly in the manufacturing paragraph, where several clauses run together. These errors sometimes make the relationships between figures harder to follow. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences in the past tense, and use commas or full stops to separate each time period.

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