Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrate information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the esonomy in the US between 1960 and 2020 Overall, it is clear that in 1960 to 2020, The healthcare were rose, However, in 1960 to 2020,The agriculture is fell in some year In 1960 the manufacturing was 15 millions jobs, the retail in 1960, was 6 million jobs, agriculture was decreased in 1960 6, millions jobs and the last healthcare in 1960, 2.05 millions jobs, these is total jobs in 1960, By 2020 the manufacturing was still decreased but in1980 onetime increased ,Retail are still increased and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and include some figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million jobs and retail at 6 million in 1960. You also notice the broad rise in healthcare and fall in agriculture. However, the response is incomplete and does not provide a clear, accurate overview of the main comparisons. The chart shows manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining, while retail and healthcare both rise and reach about 16 million by 2020; these key features are not fully reported. Some wording also makes the data unclear, such as saying agriculture “was decreased in 1960.” The response contains 91 words, below the required 150, so several trends and comparisons are left undeveloped.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and an overview signalled by “Overall,” followed by details about 1960 and 2020. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear, complete stages, and the final sentence stops after “Retail are still increased and,” leaving the comparison unfinished. Linking words such as “However” do not clearly show the relationship between the points that follow, and repeated time references make the progression difficult to follow. To improve, use separate paragraphs for the overview and the main data, then group related trends—for example, the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together—and complete each comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, but some relevant chart terms are present, including “line graph,” “number of jobs,” and the sector names. The main difficulty is inaccurate word choice and word forms, which sometimes make the intended trend hard to understand. For example, “the healthcare were rose” and “the agriculture is fell” do not express the trends naturally; use “healthcare employment rose” and “agricultural employment fell.” “Onetime increased” is also unclear; “rose temporarily” or “increased until 1980” would be more precise. Check spelling as well: “esonomy” should be “economy.” Building a small set of accurate trend verbs and comparison phrases would make the report clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response shows an attempt to use an overview and time clauses, but sentence structures are very limited and errors occur throughout, sometimes obscuring meaning. For example, “The healthcare were rose” has incorrect verb formation and agreement, while “the agriculture is fell” combines incompatible verb forms. The sentence beginning “In 1960 the manufacturing was…” also has problems with articles and sentence construction, and the final sentence is incomplete. Punctuation is inconsistent, with long run-on sections and missing full stops. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and past-tense verb, such as “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020,” before attempting longer comparisons.

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