Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph demonstrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, In retail and healthcare sectors number of jobs gradually increased throughout the years, while in agriculture field jobs opportunity decreased. In manufacturing center number of jobs fluctuated.

In healthcare center almost five millions jobs were present in 1980 and untill this increased around 12 millions in 2000. Moreover, in 2020 this reached at above 15 milliona jobs. The jobs in retail sector were at 10 millions in 1980 and it gradually rose at 15 millions jobs in 2000. In 2020 retail sector jobs obtained the equal proportion of jobs with healthcare sector. Wheareas, In agriculture the ratio of jobs steadly decreased and obtained almost 3 millions of jobs. In manufacturing sector, at first, the number of jobs were at 15 millions in 1960, and it reached almost 13 millions jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad trends: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing changes direction. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and about 13 million in 2020. However, the overview is incomplete: manufacturing’s peak at 20 million in 1980 and the strong rise in healthcare are not clearly summarised, and the agriculture account omits its final fall to about 2 million. The claim that manufacturing fluctuated is too general without describing its rise and subsequent decline. The response contains 143 words, below the 150-word minimum; 14 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Add a fuller overview and report the main turning points and end values.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and a body paragraph, and it groups several sector details together. However, progression within the body is uneven: healthcare and retail are described first, then agriculture and manufacturing, without a clear comparison or consistent grouping of the trends. Linking words such as “Moreover” and “Whereas” are attempted, but “Whereas” does not form a clear contrast in its sentence, and “In” is inconsistently capitalised after sentence breaks. The reference to retail having an “equal proportion” with healthcare is also unclear. Organise the details by comparable patterns—for example, rising sectors together and declining or fluctuating sectors together—and use linking phrases to show precise relationships.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “gradually increased,” “decreased,” and “reached,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “jobs opportunity,” “manufacturing center,” “obtained the equal proportion,” and “ratio of jobs” do not describe the data clearly. There are also spelling errors, including “untill,” “milliona,” “Wheareas,” and “steadly.” Repeated use of “number of jobs” and “jobs” limits the range. Use standard sector names without “center,” and choose precise expressions such as “employment,” “the figure rose to,” and “the two sectors had similar employment levels.” Proofreading spelling and collocations would make the report more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the reader can usually follow the intended comparisons. However, errors in sentence structure and grammatical forms are frequent enough to make some statements awkward. For example, “In retail and healthcare sectors number of jobs gradually increased” is missing articles and has an unclear subject structure; “this reached at above 15 milliona jobs” uses an incorrect verb pattern; and “the number of jobs were” has subject–verb disagreement. The sentence about retail and healthcare having an equal proportion is also incomplete in its construction. Use accurate patterns such as “the number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased” and “the figure rose to just over 15 million,” checking articles, agreement, and prepositions.

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