Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph given shows the information about growth in the four sectors of the US economy from year 1960 to 2020.

Since, the six decades which are mentioned in the graph had several events which had direct impact over job market in US. As shown in the graph healthcare and retail sectors had boost in those decades. Such as, the jobs in the healthcare sector were around 2 million in 1960 and in 2020 the jobs increased to 16 million. Similarly, the jobs in retail sector were around 6 million in 1960 and in 2020 the jobs increased to 16 million. The trend in manufacturing sector is a bit different in 1960 there were 15 million jobs, in 1980 the jobs increased to 20 million and then the downfall began and the jobs were recorded around 13 million in 2020. The agriculture has shown only negative growth starting from 6 million in 1960 to only 2 million jobs left in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad trends: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, and agriculture falls overall. The figures you give for 1960 and 2020 are generally consistent with the chart, and the manufacturing peak is accurately reported. However, the overview is not clearly separated from the details, and the account omits useful intermediate comparisons, such as retail reaching about 15 million by 2000 and healthcare rising to around 11 million. The claim that the decades had “several events” affecting the job market is unsupported by the graph, which shows employment figures rather than causes. To strengthen the response, focus on a concise overview of the contrasting trends and include selected intermediate data without speculating about explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response follows a generally understandable order, moving from the rising sectors to manufacturing and agriculture, and uses linking expressions such as “Similarly” and “then.” This gives the reader a basic sense of comparison and sequence. However, the information is presented as one long body paragraph after a brief introduction, so the overview and supporting details are not clearly distinguished. Some transitions are mechanical, and “Since” at the start of the second paragraph does not introduce a complete or logically connected explanation. Group the main trends into a clear overview, then use separate detail paragraphs to compare the rising sectors with the declining ones. This would make the progression easier to follow and the comparisons more purposeful.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “job market,” “increased,” “downfall,” and “negative growth,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts to describe change rather than simply list figures. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a graph report: “had boost” is not a natural collocation, “the downfall began” is overly dramatic, and “jobs left” is informal. “Growth” in the introduction also suggests that all sectors increased, although agriculture declined. Aim for neutral, precise trend language and use verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “declined” consistently. More accurate collocations would make the description sound more controlled and appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons introduced by “Similarly” and a sequence describing manufacturing’s rise and fall. Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems are noticeable. For example, “Since, the six decades…” uses an unnecessary comma and leaves “Since” without a clear dependent clause; “in 1960 there were 15 million jobs, in 1980…” joins clauses with a comma; and “the agriculture has shown” has an unnecessary article. The sentence beginning “The trend in manufacturing sector…” also needs clearer clause boundaries. Practise using full stops or conjunctions to separate complete ideas, and check articles and punctuation when revising.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.