Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided line graph illustrates the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the USA from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the graph shows the continuously increase in two sector Retail and healthcare from 1960 to til 2020. As well as there is little change in remaining two sectors Manufacturing was increased sharply and then went down till end. Moreover, Agriculture declined day by day till the end.

To begin with the Retail it was started from 5 millions in 1960 and grew up with the time and ends with 15 millions jobs in 2020. As well as healthcare sector jobs started from 3 millions in 1960 and rose up through the time and ends on 15 millions jobs in 2020. It's two main sector for the USA's economy.

The ramining two sectors of the US are Manufecturing and Agriculture the Manufecturing sector started from 15 millions jobs and it increased till 20 millions untill 1980 and then started declined day by day till the end and stood at 13 millions. Moreover, Agriculture had 6 millions in 1960 then fell down sharply and ends with 2 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks before declining, and agriculture falls. The manufacturing figures are reported accurately, and the agriculture start and end values are also correct. However, some details are imprecise: retail begins at about 6 million and ends at 16 million, while healthcare rises from about 2 million to 16 million, rather than the values given. The overview also says there is “little change” in the other sectors, which conflicts with manufacturing’s substantial rise and fall. The comment that these are “two main sector[s]” is not supported by the graph. To strengthen the response, give a clearer overview of the final ranking and compare the sectors’ trajectories more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining or fluctuating sectors. This makes the main trends easy to locate. However, progression within sentences is sometimes awkward, and linking phrases are used mechanically. For example, “As well as” repeatedly introduces information where a direct comparison would be clearer, while “Moreover” adds little to the agriculture description. The overview’s “little change” also makes the relationship between the trends unclear. Use more precise links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile,” and organise each body paragraph around direct comparisons between the relevant sectors. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow which figures belong to which sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the main trends, including “increased,” “declined,” “rose,” and “fell,” and the sector names are generally clear. However, word choice and collocation are often unnatural or repetitive: “grew up with the time,” “ends on 15 millions jobs,” and “declined day by day” do not describe graph trends idiomatically. There are also spelling errors in “ramining” and “Manufecturing,” and “continuously increase” is an inaccurate form for the trend described. Aim for concise, conventional reporting language such as “rose steadily,” “reached,” and “fell to.” Varying the trend verbs and using accurate forms will make the account more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the reader can generally understand the comparisons. However, some grammatical errors recur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “the continuously increase” needs a noun form and article, while “it was started from” and “ends with” use awkward or inconsistent tense patterns. In “It's two main sector,” the pronoun and singular/plural form do not agree, and “Retail it was started” creates an incomplete or poorly joined structure. Use the past simple consistently for the historical data, and form comparisons with clear subjects and verbs—for example, “Retail rose from about 6 million to 16 million.” More accurate sentence boundaries and agreement would improve control.

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