Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, jobs in the manufacturing sector rose high and declined slowly. Whereas, sectors like retail and healthcare inclined gradually over the years. While, jobs related to agriculture sector declined gradually.

The jobs in manufacturing sector stood at 15M in 1960 which increased slightly to 20M in 1980 and decline gradually till 2020 to around 13M. Whereas, jobs related to retail sector was 6M in 1960, which escalated at a steady pace to around 15.5M in 2020.

The jobs in the agriculture sector accounted for 6M in 1960 which dipped to 4M in 1980 and slumped till 2020 to around 2M. Whereas, figure for healthcare sector was recorded at 2M in 1960 which surged gradually till 2020 to around 15.5M which was similar to retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare rise. You also include several relevant figures. However, some details are inaccurate: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, but it is already 15 million in 2000; healthcare is also about 16 million in 2020, not 15.5 million. Agriculture falls to about 3 million by 1980 and remains there in 2000 before dropping to 2 million, rather than dipping to 4 million in 1980. The overview is present but general, and the response is 130 words, 20 short of the required minimum. Add the key comparison that retail and healthcare finish joint highest, and report the intermediate stages accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. This makes the information reasonably easy to follow. However, progression within the overview and body is weakened by repeated sentence openings and frequent use of “Whereas” as a sentence starter, including after a full stop. The manufacturing and retail trends are grouped together, followed by agriculture and healthcare, which is a sensible arrangement, but the comparisons between sectors remain limited. Use linking expressions more selectively and connect related trends directly—for example, contrast manufacturing’s decline after 1980 with the continued growth in retail and healthcare. Clearer links between the overview and the detailed figures would make the organisation more cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to describe movement, including “increased,” “declined,” “dipped,” and “surged,” and the main trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more varied wording, such as “escalated at a steady pace.” However, some choices are unnatural or imprecise for describing a graph: “rose high” and “inclined gradually” are not idiomatic, while “slumped” suggests a sharper fall than the agriculture figures show. “Jobs related to” is also repeated where “employment in” would be more concise. Aim for accurate, conventional trend language rather than using a different synonym for each movement. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish a peak, a gradual decline, and a period of stability.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including relative clauses such as “which increased slightly to 20M in 1980.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation reduce accuracy. For example, “increased slightly … and decline gradually” shifts incorrectly from past tense to present; “jobs related to retail sector was” has a plural subject with a singular verb and is missing an article; and “Whereas,” is used after a full stop as though it were a complete sentence. The overview also contains sentence fragments beginning “Whereas” and “While.” Check that each sentence has a complete main clause, keep past-tense reporting consistent, and review subject–verb agreement and articles. These corrections would make your varied sentence forms more controlled.

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