Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The table above is showing us the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the IS,[redacted phone].

First of all, Manufacturing in 1960 was 15 millions job increased to 20 millions jobs then retreated under 15 millions jobs in 2020.

Secondary, Retail had 5,5millions jobs then increased to 10millions jobs in 1980 then to 15 millions jobs in 2000 and to 2020 they haven’t hav a big change .

Thirdly, Agriculture didn’t achieve many jobs they started from 5,5 millions jobs and then diclined to under 5 till 2020.

Finally ,we have Healthcare it started from under 5 and increased more than 15millions jobs in 2020.

The Healthcare sector was the best in having more numbers of jobs during the years of 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak before falling and healthcare’s substantial growth. However, the account is incomplete and some comparisons are inaccurate: manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not clearly “under 15” as a precise endpoint, while retail rises from about 6 to 16 million and healthcare also reaches about 16 million. The claim that healthcare was “the best” is vague and does not explain that it tied with retail for the highest figure in 2020. The response is also 115 words, below the required 150, so key features are left undeveloped. Add a clear overview and more accurate comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence, moving through the sectors with signposts such as “First of all,” “Thirdly,” and “Finally.” This makes the information reasonably easy to follow at sentence level. However, the organisation is mechanical and there is no clear overview paragraph to establish the main patterns before the details. The repeated sector-by-sector format also limits comparisons between trends; for example, retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, but this relationship is not made clear. Some transitions are awkward, and the final sentence repeats the idea of healthcare growth rather than drawing together the main features. Grouping rising sectors and declining sectors, with a concise overview, would create clearer progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “increased,” “declined,” and “jobs,” and the sector names are generally clear. However, vocabulary is limited and several choices are inaccurate or informal for an academic summary. “Retreated” is not a natural description of a falling employment figure, while “the best in having more numbers of jobs” is unclear and imprecise. There are also noticeable spelling and form errors, such as “diclined” and “hav,” and inconsistent spacing in expressions like “5,5millions.” Use standard data-reporting language and accurate units, such as “employment fell,” “rose to,” and “million jobs.” This would make the trends easier to understand and sound more appropriate for Task 1.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response communicates the general subject and some trends, but it relies mainly on short, simple statements and has frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “Manufacturing in 1960 was 15 millions job increased to 20 millions jobs” joins ideas without a correct grammatical link, and “to 2020 they haven’t hav a big change” has faulty tense and sentence structure. The opening also needs a more accurate construction, such as “The graph shows the number of jobs…” Commas and spacing are inconsistent, and the final sentence uses an awkward structure. Practise forming complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and use past-tense reporting consistently for this historical period.

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