Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, employment in retail and healthcare increased substantially over the period, despite agriculture experienced a significant decline.While manufacturing reached it's peak in 1980 then faced a sharp fall for the end of the period.

In 1960, manufacturing started at 15 million jobs, compared with 5.5 million approximately in retail. The number rose steadily over the next 20 years in manufacturing.Then it declined gradually from 20 to 13 million in 1980 to 2020. The jobs number in retail rose significantly and reached its peak. By 2020, it's peaked at 16 million.

Agriculture started at around 5.5 million compared with 2 million in healthcare. The number of jobs in healthcare increased rapidly and reached its peak at 15 million in 2020. The upward trend was interrupted in agriculture. From 1980 to 2020 it experienced a sharp fall for the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad trends: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail at 16 million in 2020. However, some comparisons are incomplete or unclear. The overview says agriculture experienced a significant decline, but the account later describes its fall only vaguely and does not clearly report that it stayed around 3 million from 1980 to 2000 before reaching about 2 million. The healthcare endpoint is given as 15 million rather than approximately 16 million, and the retail starting figure is slightly low. Develop the overview and report the key stages more precisely, especially where trends level off or change.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs that group the sectors. This makes the information easy to follow in broad terms. However, some links between ideas are unclear or mechanically expressed. For example, “The upward trend was interrupted in agriculture” does not explain the trend or interruption, and “From 1980 to 2020 it experienced a sharp fall for the end of the period” leaves the timing and extent of the decline vague. The manufacturing and retail discussion also shifts between sectors without consistently making comparisons. Use clearer references and transitions, and organise each paragraph around a direct comparison or a coherent set of trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “increased substantially,” “declined gradually,” “reached its peak,” and “rose significantly.” These choices help describe movement and comparison. Some expressions, however, are imprecise or awkward for describing a line graph. “The jobs number” is unnatural, “sharp fall for the end of the period” does not clearly express when the decline occurred, and “the upward trend was interrupted” is not an accurate description of agriculture’s mostly downward or stable pattern. Repeated use of “peak” also makes the account less precise, particularly where the figures simply reach an endpoint. Choose standard collocations such as “number of jobs,” “fell towards the end,” and “rose to approximately” to improve clarity and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the overview clause beginning “despite” and the comparison “compared with.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. “Despite agriculture experienced” needs a noun phrase or a gerund after “despite,” while “then faced a sharp fall for the end” has an incorrect preposition and an unclear clause structure. In “By 2020, it’s peaked,” the contraction is inappropriate and the tense does not fit the time reference; use “it had reached” or “it stood at.” There are also punctuation and spacing problems where sentences run together, such as after “manufacturing.” Check sentence boundaries, verb forms, and possessive forms to make the complex sentences more accurate.

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