Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The bar graph data displays the four sectors of workers in manufacturing, retailing, agriculture and healthcare sector in the economy of the United States of America from 1960 to 2020 year.

Overall, It was clearly mentioned that people in USA shifting their intrest in healthcare and retail sector. Although agriculture sector was declining rapedily over the period of time.

Manufacturing sector was the only sector where more than 15 millions of employment they have in this in the year of 1960. However, in the 1980, it reach on the highest trend exactly 20 millions employees and rapidly declined over the period of time until 2020. Although in agriculture sector above the 5 millions of people was employed through agriculture due to 1980 it sharply declined and later on in 2020 this sector was the lowest job for economy in US.

Retail and healthcare sectors was the crucial sector for USA. Furthermore, in 1960 retail was nearly 6 millions jobs provided in the economy and healthcare was almost less then 3 millions but after this year both sectors rapidly growth over the years and in 2020 both employments sectors reach to over the 15 millions of jobs in both sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in agriculture and manufacturing versus the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating 'more than 15 millions' or 'almost less then 3 millions' is vague. To achieve a higher band, you should use more specific figures from the graph to support your comparisons. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the contrasting trends more sharply.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'Although' to link sentences. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as starting a sentence with 'Although' when it does not introduce a subordinate clause correctly. Additionally, some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used to create a smoother flow between ideas would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'declined', 'growth', and 'employed'. However, there are several inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'shifting their intrest' (interest), 'rapedily' (rapidly), and 'lowest job for economy'. The phrasing 'reach on the highest trend' is also non-standard. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, the frequent errors in spelling and word formation prevent the use of a wider, more precise range of lexical items required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('Retail and healthcare sectors was') and pluralisation ('15 millions of employment'). You also struggle with prepositions and article usage, such as 'in the 1980' and 'in the year of 1960'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb agreement and plural forms.

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