Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line chart illustrate the data about the number of employment in four divisions of the providence in the country i.e, US between the years 1960 to 2020.

In the former years the Manufacturing sector was on the hype with 15 millions of jobs and in the next 20 years it went to 20 millions, to the highest from all four groups and then gradually fell to approx 13.5 millions. Whereas the sector which was on the lowest with approx 2.5 millions of workforce i.e, Healthcare;Moreover it significantly grown in the later years and in the year 2020 it was on its peak to 16 millions of the jobs.

On the other hand other to sectors are Agriculture and Retail in which agriculture have a remarkable downfall from 6 millions to approx 2.5 millions in the year 2020; Furthermore the Retail sector have gradually grown each year.

Overall, manufacturing group is still existing in the top 3 sectors and on the 3rd number, and other two are groups are Retail and Healthcare and both are on equal stage; and last is agriculture as of the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in Healthcare and the decline in Agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat confusingly phrased, and the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate (e.g., stating the Manufacturing sector was at 15 million in 1960 when the graph shows it lower). The summary of the 2020 figures in the final paragraph is also slightly imprecise. To improve, ensure that data points are read more accurately from the graph and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends rather than just listing final rankings.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical use of cohesive devices. For instance, the use of 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore' feels forced and does not always connect ideas smoothly. The final paragraph is particularly disjointed, making it difficult to follow the comparison of the four sectors. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is limited and contains several inaccuracies, such as 'divisions of the providence' and 'on the hype'. There is also a reliance on basic descriptors like 'grown' and 'fell'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precise terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'plummeted') limits the score. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more academic collocations and precise verbs to describe the movement of data points on a graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the given line chart illustrate', 'agriculture have a remarkable downfall') and incorrect article usage. The sentence structures are often repetitive and lack complexity. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and affect the overall fluency of the writing. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would help improve the accuracy of your writing.

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