Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided bar graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data has been calibrated into millions.
Overall, it is crystal clear that the highest jobs was covered by retail and healthcare sector, while least jobs was covered by agriculture.
At a fleeting glance, in 1960, the highest number of jobs was covered by manufacturing sector which was 16 million that declined to 13 million in latter year. Furthermore, retail sector showed a sharply rise in an economy of the US which contributed more than 15 million jobs in 2020. In 2000, the number of jobs in healthcare and and agriculture was 2 million and 11 million respectively.
Moving ahead, the graph of manufacturing sector depicts significantly rise from 1960 to 1980 but, after 1980 it suddenly decreased by 2 million. Moreover, similar number of jobs were provided by healthcare and retail sector that was 16 million. In addition, agriculture remained less contributed sector in jobs that means the graph showed considerably fall.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides an overview and attempts to report on the main features. However, the data interpretation is inconsistent and contains significant inaccuracies. For example, the claim that manufacturing declined to 13 million in a 'latter year' is vague, and the statement that healthcare and agriculture were 2 million and 11 million in 2000 is not supported by the provided graph. Furthermore, the description of trends is often contradictory or confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing rose until 1980 and then decreased, which does not align with the visual data. The response lacks a clear, accurate summary of the key trends across the four sectors, which is essential for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'At a fleeting glance' and 'Moving ahead' feel unnatural in an academic context. Additionally, the logical progression within paragraphs is weak; sentences often jump between different years and sectors without clear transitions, making it difficult to follow the comparison of data. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between ideas is frequently interrupted by inaccurate data reporting, which hinders the overall coherence of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'highest jobs was covered by', 'contributed more than 15 million jobs', and 'remained less contributed sector'. The phrase 'crystal clear' is too informal for an academic task. While the student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'sectors', 'economy', 'manufacturing'), the lack of precision and the frequent errors in word choice mean that the vocabulary is only minimally adequate for the task. More precise terminology for describing trends is required.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response relies on a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the highest jobs was', 'least jobs was'), incorrect article usage ('a sharply rise', 'an economy of the US'), and awkward phrasing ('that means the graph showed considerably fall'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the grammatical errors are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction and ensure that verbs and nouns agree in number.
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