Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The linear graph represent the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US. It is evident that information showed in the given period of [redacted phone] respectively.

To commence with, it is noticeable that in the year of 1960 manufactured job was 15 millions where as, in the period of 1990 it inclined to 20 millions. Afterwards, employment of invented slightly declined that showed 17 million in 2000. Furthermore, manufacturing occupation continued falling until the year of 2020. Now move to retail firstly, the number of post were 6 million however, then it extended and keep going till the year of 2020 of position in retail trade. In 1990 it accelerated to 10 million then in 2000 touched 15 million and lastly, constant in 2020. Meanwhile, in the field of cultivation the ratio of workers at starting was 6 million in 1960 and then in the period of 1980 the job of crop production was felt to 4 million after that, in the year of 2000 it remained unchanged and finally, slightly dropped to 3 million occupation in farming. Subsequently, highlighted healthcare sector career was 2 million only in 1960 therefore, then rocketed to 5 million. Eventually, in medical care the occupation proceed and expanded last to the year of 2020. Lastly, in 2000 job numbers was 11 million in public health and 2020 there will be 15 million of position in medical field.

Over all it is apparent that, there were peaked number of career in manufacturing and diminished in the sector in cultivation in US country by the year of 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the reporting of data is inconsistent and sometimes inaccurate. While you identify the main trends, the description of the data points is often confusing, such as the unclear references to 'invented' or 'post'. The overview provided at the end is a good attempt at summarizing, but it lacks precision regarding the specific trends observed. To improve, ensure that you clearly distinguish between the sectors and use the data points provided in the graph more accurately to support your descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'Now move to retail' or 'Eventually, in medical care'. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, making it difficult to follow the chronological development of the data. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are often placed awkwardly, which disrupts the flow of the text. Improving the variety and natural placement of cohesive devices will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is often repetitive and sometimes inappropriate for an academic report. Phrases like 'manufactured job', 'employment of invented', and 'number of post' indicate a limited range and issues with collocation. While you attempt to use some descriptive verbs like 'inclined', 'accelerated', and 'rocketed', they are not always used in the correct context or with the right prepositional support. To reach a higher band, focus on learning sector-specific terminology and common collocations used to describe trends in graphs, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'graph represent', 'information showed'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack the necessary complexity expected at higher levels. While you attempt to use a mix of simple and some complex structures, the errors in tense and word order are pervasive. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will help improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

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