Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph compares the number of jobs, measured in millions, in four sectors of US economy - manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health care between 1990 and 2020.
In 1960, manufaturing accounted for approximately 15 million jobs, while retail and agriculture each employed around 6 million people. Healthcare had the fewest workers, at only 2 million. Manufacturing then rose to peak of 20 million jobs in 1980 before falling roughly at 17 million in 2020 and finally around 13 million in 2020.
Retail employment increased consistently from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and approximately 15 million in 2000, remaining stable until 2020. Healthcare, recorded the most drametic growth, rising from 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million jobs in 1980, 11 million in 2000 and about 16 million in 2020, overtaking all other sectors. In contrast, agricultural employment declined steadily from around 6 million to just 2 million over the same period.
Overall, manufacturing was the largest emplyer at the begining of the period but declined after reaching a peak in 1980. By contrast, retail and healthcare experienced steady growth. Agriculture showed a countinue downward trend throughout the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response successfully covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. You have provided a clear overview and supported your points with relevant data from the graph. However, there is a factual inconsistency in the second paragraph where you mention 2020 twice with different figures (17 million and 13 million), which confuses the reader. Additionally, the introduction states the period is 1990-2020, while the prompt specifies 1960-2020. Accuracy in data reporting and referencing the correct timeframe is essential for a higher band score. Despite these errors, the main features are clearly highlighted and the comparison between sectors is well-executed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Overall', and 'By contrast' effectively to link ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. While the flow is generally smooth, the internal consistency within the second paragraph is slightly disrupted by the contradictory data points mentioned. Overall, the structure is clear and supports the progression of information well.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'accounted for', 'peak', 'remained stable', and 'downward trend'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'manufaturing', 'drametic', 'emplyer', 'begining', and 'countinue', which are noticeable. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on proofreading your work to catch these minor slips. The use of 'dramatic growth' and 'steady growth' shows a good attempt at using descriptive language appropriate for an academic task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Manufacturing then rose to peak of 20 million jobs in 1980 before falling...'. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as missing articles ('at peak of') and prepositional errors ('falling roughly at 17 million'). However, these errors are infrequent and do not cause difficulty for the reader. The majority of your sentences are clear and error-free. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex structures and ensure consistent control over articles and prepositions.
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