Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The linear graph represents the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US. It is evident that the information showed in the given period of [redacted phone] respectively.

To commence with, it is noticeable that in the year of 1960 manufacturing jobs was 15 million where as, in the period of 1990 it inclined to 20 million. Afterwards, employment of manufacturing slightly declined that showed 17 million in 2000. Furthermore, manufacturing employment continued falling until the year of 2020. Now move to retail firstly, the number of posts were 6 million however, then it extended and keep going till the year of 2020 of position in retail trade. In 1990 it accelerated to 10 million then in 2000 touched 15 million and lastly, constant in 2020. Meanwhile, in the field of cultivation the ratio of workers at starting was 6 million in 1960 and then in the period of 1980 the job of crop production was fell to 4 million after that, in the year of 2000 it remained unchanged and finally, slightly dropped to 3 million occupation in farming. Subsequently, highlighted healthcare sector career was 2 million only in 1960 therefore, then rocketed to 5 million. Eventually, in medical care the occupation proceed and expanded last to the year of 2020. Lastly, in 2000 jobs numbers was 11 million in public health and 2020 there will be 15 million of position in medical field.

Over all it is apparent that, there were peaked number of career in manufacturing and diminished in the sector in cultivation in US country by the year of 1960 to 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have identified the main trends for the four sectors, which is a positive start. However, the response lacks a clear overview, which is essential for Task 1. The summary provided at the end is somewhat repetitive and does not effectively synthesize the key differences between the sectors. Furthermore, some data points are inaccurate or poorly described (e.g., 'the job of crop production was fell to 4 million'). To improve, ensure you group the data logically—perhaps by comparing sectors that grew versus those that declined—and provide a concise, analytical overview paragraph immediately after the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often disrupted by awkward transitions and repetitive phrasing. Phrases like 'Now move to retail' and 'Eventually, in medical care' are somewhat informal and mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is often repetitive and occasionally imprecise. For example, you use 'jobs', 'posts', 'position', and 'occupation' interchangeably, which is good, but phrases like 'keep going' and 'rocketed' are either too informal or used incorrectly in context. There are also issues with word formation, such as 'the information showed in the given period'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid informal phrasal verbs or conversational fillers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing jobs was 15 million') and tense usage. Many sentences are structurally awkward, such as 'in the year of 1960 manufacturing jobs was 15 million where as, in the period of 1990 it inclined to 20 million.' The range of sentence structures is limited, and the errors occasionally impede the clarity of the information. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.

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