Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph depicts the information about the number of employments in four economical sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of employments in retail and healthcare sectors increased, while the figures decreased in manufacturing and agricultural departments.
Initially, there was about 3 million job opportunities in healthcare departments in 1960, the proportion increased to 5 million jobs in 1980, then grew significantly to around 16 million employments by the end of the period. Similarly, the retail professions started from about 6 million in 1960, rose dramatically to approximately 15 million work positions in the year 2000, then showed a slight increase to around 16 million positions in 2020.
However, the career facilities in agricultural departments was almost 7 million by the start, which declined gradually to around 3 million employments in 1980, and remained almost constant over the period.
Additionally, manufacturing roles begins from approximately 15 million in 1960, that climbed to 20 million occupations in 1980, after that plummeted steadily to about 13 million at the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided relevant data points to support your summary. The overview clearly contrasts the growth in healthcare and retail against the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the response could be improved by ensuring all data points are accurate and by avoiding minor inaccuracies in reporting. For example, you mention that agricultural jobs remained 'almost constant' after 1980, but the graph shows a slight decline. Additionally, ensure that you consistently use the correct terminology for the sectors rather than using terms like 'departments' or 'career facilities', which are not appropriate in this context.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs for each sector. You use cohesive devices such as 'Initially', 'Similarly', 'However', and 'Additionally' to guide the reader through the information. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the flow between sentences could be smoother. Some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing of data could be more precise to avoid repetition. Overall, the structure is clear and the progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plummeted', 'dramatically', and 'proportion'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For instance, 'number of employments' is unnatural; 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels' would be better. Using 'departments' or 'career facilities' to refer to economic sectors is inaccurate. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are contextually appropriate for describing economic data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'there was about 3 million job opportunities' should be 'there were about 3 million job opportunities' (subject-verb agreement). Additionally, 'manufacturing roles begins' should be 'manufacturing roles began' (tense consistency). There are also minor punctuation and phrasing issues, such as the comma splice in the third paragraph. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.
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