Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates four sectors jobs in US of the economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that, while Retail and Agriculture increased considerably ,Manufacturing and Healthcare declined.

At the beginning of the period, in 1960 Manufacturing was very popular at 15 Millions and this popularity grew at 20 in 1980. Afterwards, this sector narrowed gradually in 2020 at around 13.Similarly ,Healthcare was few famous in 1960 to approximately 5 .Subsequently, witnessed a sharp decline in 1980 and remained stable in 2000 at around 3. Finally, these sector recorded the lowest figure in 2020 at 2 Millions.

Meanwhile, Agriculture stared at 2 Millions in 1960. In 2020 , It then continued to increase ,reaching at 15 millions by the end of the period. However, Retail started journey at 6 Millions in 1960. Despite this change , it climb up at 15 in 2000. Whereas, in 2020, it slightly rose at around 16 Millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in Retail and Agriculture and the decline in Manufacturing and Healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat inaccurate regarding the data provided in the graph. For instance, you state that Manufacturing 'declined' overall, but the graph shows it ending at a similar level to where it started, and your description of Healthcare's trend is confusing. The overview is present but could be more precise in highlighting the most significant shifts. To improve, ensure that your summary of trends strictly matches the visual data and focus on comparing the sectors rather than just listing individual figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'At the beginning', and 'Meanwhile' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'these sector' (which should be plural) and the abrupt transition in the final paragraph. The logical progression is sometimes hindered by the way data points are grouped, making it difficult to follow the comparison between the four sectors. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun references would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'four sectors jobs' should be 'jobs in four sectors', and 'few famous' is not an appropriate way to describe data. You also use 'stared' instead of 'started' and 'climb up' instead of 'climbed'. While you attempt to use some descriptive language, the lack of precision in word choice limits your score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used accurately to describe trends and figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'reaching at 15 millions'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'these sector recorded'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction, correct verb tenses, and consistent punctuation will help improve your accuracy significantly.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.