Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates four divisions of economy in the United States, accounted in millions for number of jobs from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing contributed the highest number of jobs in 1960's at 15 million job a year while it saw growth in coming year it was shortfelled by dropping ever since to below 15 million in 2020. The lease amount of a job sector was seen in Agriculture as it was declining throughout the years. Further Retail and Healthcare saw a massive growth in upcoming years even surpassing Manufacturing.

Since in 1960's, due to industrialization we can see people leaned more towards Manufacturing sector. While department of Retail and Agriculture had 6 million jobs, while retail eventually saw a rise in demand and surpassed manufacturing between 2000 and 2020. Healthcare was near to 2 million jobs in 1960's, its demand increased throughout the years which helped it surpass manufacturing and had same amount of jobs as retail sector in 2020. Further agriculture had a gradual downfall year-on-year. between 1980 and 2000 it was stagnant and eventually reached 2 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the decline of agriculture and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat hampered by inaccurate data reporting. For instance, stating manufacturing was at 15 million in the 1960s and then dropped is a bit vague, and the claim that healthcare had the same number of jobs as retail in 2020 is not clearly supported by the visual data. The overview is present but lacks a sharp focus on the most significant trends. To improve, ensure that data points are cited more precisely and that the 'main features' are clearly distinguished from minor details.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas, moving from general trends to specific sector analysis. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Since in 1960's' and 'While department of Retail and Agriculture had 6 million jobs, while retail eventually saw a rise'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, which disrupts the flow of the argument. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would help the essay achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'gradual downfall', 'stagnant', 'surpassed'). However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'shortfelled', 'lease amount of a job sector', and 'accounted in millions for number of jobs'. These errors occasionally cause the reader to pause. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding non-standard phrasing. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the' manufacturing sector), prepositions, and verb tenses ('in 1960's' instead of 'in the 1960s'). Some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'The lease amount of a job sector was seen in Agriculture as it was declining throughout the years.' These errors are noticeable but do not completely impede communication. Increasing the variety of error-free complex sentences and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the score.

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