Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The graph illustrates number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, only retail and healthcare had increased over this period while manufacturing saw both increase and decrease over this period but agriculture saw only decline.
In 1960, manufacturing is the largest among the four sectors with 15 million jobs. It is followed by retail and agriculture at 6 million jobs and the least of all is healthcare at around 2.5 million. By 1980, except agriculture remaining all three sectors saw increase from 1960. manufacturing rose to all time high of 20 million jobs, followed by retail at 10 million and healthcare at 5 million. agriculture now declined from 6 million to just 3.5 million.
In 2000, manufacturing still holds the lead at 16 million, a fall from 20 million from 1980. It is followed by retail at 15 million and healthcare at 11 million and agriculture moved slightly to 3 million from 3.5 in 1980. By 2020, retail and healthcare tops the chart for first time at around 15.5 million each and manufacturing sits at 13.5 million, a decline from 16 million in 2000. Finally, healthcare dips slightly again to 2 million, its all time low.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. The main features are identified, such as the rise of retail and healthcare and the decline of agriculture. However, there is a factual error in the final paragraph where you mention healthcare dips to 2 million, which contradicts the graph showing agriculture at that level. Additionally, the overview could be more analytical by grouping the sectors more effectively rather than just listing them. Despite these minor issues, the task is addressed well with relevant data points used to support the descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs covering different time periods. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In 1960', 'By 1980', and 'In 2000', which help guide the reader through the timeline. However, the transition between ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'except agriculture remaining all three sectors'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication of the data. You use appropriate terms like 'sectors', 'economy', 'decline', and 'all-time high'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are some repetitive structures. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable'. There are no significant spelling errors, but the word choice is functional rather than sophisticated.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the' number of jobs, 'the' US) and tense inconsistencies (e.g., 'manufacturing is the largest' instead of 'was'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'retail and healthcare tops the chart'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will improve your accuracy.
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