Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The line graph compares the amount of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in America over the 60-year period from 1960 to 2020.

The manufacturing industry was the most important source for jobs in the US for about 55 years to nearly 2015, with the figure seeing an upward from 15 million to 20 million, but decreasing sharply during the rest of the period to about 13 million in 2020. The figure for agriculture fell steadily for these 60 years to approximately 2 million, while it remained basically unchanged at about 3 million between 1980 and 2000.

In contrast, the industry of retail and healthcare showed opposite patterns. There was a dramatic increase in retail, with the figure increased more than two-fold to 16 million in 2020. Although the figure for healthcare was about 3 million in 1960, it did grow to the same level that of retail in 2020.

Overall, the three sectors played important role in the America’s employment except for the agriculture, which declined consistently for the 60 years. Meanwhile, manufacturing’s influence was falling from 1980.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

这篇回答涵盖了所有四个行业，并指出了主要趋势，例如农业的衰退以及零售业和医疗保健业的增长。然而，概述部分稍显薄弱；虽然提到了农业和制造业的衰退，但未能强调最显著的趋势：到 2020 年，服务型行业（零售和医疗保健）作为主要雇主出现了剧烈增长。关于制造业的描述在达到峰值的时间点上也略有不准确。总的来说，这篇回答对数据进行了清晰的总结，但如果能更精确地报告数据，并提供更强有力、更全面的概述，效果会更好。

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

文章逻辑清晰，分为四个段落，包含明确的引言、各行业的主体段落以及总结性概述。有效地使用了 'In contrast'、'Although' 和 'Meanwhile' 等衔接词来连接观点。然而，指代关系偶尔显得有些生硬，例如 'the same level that of retail' 这一短语缺少了介词。段落划分恰当，有效地将行业进行了分组，有助于读者理解数据的发展脉络。信息流转总体顺畅，但部分过渡句可以更精炼一些。

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

词汇范围足以完成任务，使用了 'upward'、'declined consistently' 和 'dramatic increase' 等术语。在选词和搭配上存在一些小错误，例如 'amount of jobs'（应为 'number of jobs'）和 'the industry of retail and healthcare'（应为 'the retail and healthcare sectors'）。虽然词汇足以清晰表达意思，但缺乏更高分数段所要求的精确性和多样性。学生倾向于使用相当标准的描述词，而非更具学术性或精确的术语。

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

回答中混合使用了简单句和复杂句。存在一些语法疏漏，例如 'different four sectors'（应为 'four different sectors'）、'an upward'（应为 'an upward trend'）以及 'played important role'（缺少冠词）。此外，句子 'it did grow to the same level that of retail' 在语法上是不完整的。尽管有这些错误，但整篇意思表达清晰，且错误并未妨碍交流。为了提高，学生应专注于冠词的使用，并确保比较结构在语法上是完整的。

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