Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

As an overview, what stands out is that retail and healthcare sector was the clear winner among manufacturing and Agriculture.

Turning to details, the Manufacturing held the top position in 1980 but it fell steadily by 2020 it was approximately 60 million. It was followed by retail which was almost 6 million in 1960 but it rose dramatically and held its topmost position 16 million in 2020.

Moving to next set of details, in 1960 agriculture was above 5 million but it fell dramatically to approximately 2 in 2020. The healthcare sector was above 0 in 1960 but it rose dramatically holding the position of above 15 in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is quite brief and lacks the depth required for a higher band. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the lack of sufficient detail and the failure to meet the length requirement means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview and include more specific data points to support your descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You have used some basic cohesive devices like 'Turning to details' and 'Moving to next set of details' to transition between sections. However, the flow is somewhat mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. The overview is placed correctly, but it is quite simplistic. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data comparisons.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range expected at higher levels. You rely on basic descriptors like 'fell steadily', 'rose dramatically', and 'topmost position'. While these are accurate, they are repetitive. There are also some minor issues with word choice, such as 'clear winner' which is not ideal for a formal report on economic sectors. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and data analysis, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a significant decline'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'retail and healthcare sector was' should be plural ('sectors were'), and 'it fell steadily by 2020 it was' is a run-on sentence that lacks proper punctuation or a conjunction. Additionally, 'above 0 in 1960' is an awkward way to describe data. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and using correct punctuation to separate independent clauses.

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