Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in united states between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare sector jobs were at peak while agriculture sector remained the lowest among all sectors of the economy. The healthcare sector jobs gradually increased from the beginning to the end of the period up to 15 million jobs in 2020. On the other hand, retail sector jobs gradually increased till 2000 having 15 millions of jobs and there was a slight increase by 2020.

Furthermore, the agriculture experiences a drop over all its years during 1960 there were around 6 millions of jobs by end of 2020 it accounted to 3 million. The manufacturing jobs initially rose until 1990 accounting 20 millions of jobs after which there was a fall from 1990 to 2020 accounting up to 13 million jobs in 2020 year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for example, stating that retail and healthcare were 'at peak' is vague, and the comparison of the agriculture sector is somewhat underdeveloped. While the key features are reported, the analysis lacks a clear, comparative synthesis of the data. The response meets the minimum length requirement, but the reporting of figures could be more precise to better highlight the significant shifts in the US economy. To improve, ensure the overview clearly contrasts the growth sectors against the declining ones.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'after which' are used to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions could be more sophisticated. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by grouping the sectors more effectively (e.g., grouping the growing sectors versus the declining ones) to enhance the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends such as 'gradually increased', 'remained the lowest', and 'experiences a drop'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'at peak' instead of 'peaked' or 'at their peak', and 'accounting 20 millions' instead of 'accounting for 20 million'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more precise reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'fluctuated', 'witnessed a decline', or 'a significant surge'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the retail and healthcare sector', 'in united states') and pluralization ('15 millions of jobs'). Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, such as 'the agriculture experiences'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The student should focus on proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms to improve overall accuracy.

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