Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line chart illustrates employment trends across four different sectors namely Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, healthcare in economy, which locates in Us, from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare consistently provided the highest number of jobs throughout the period, whereas Agriculture accounted for the lowest share. Meanwhile, Manufacturing experienced a decline.

In 1960, retail was one of the lowest sector with 6 million jobs, then it followed upward trend during the period and the number increased to 16 million. Likewise, healthcare also shared this trend with 3million to 16 million jobs.

Healthcare also recorded significant growth, climbing from 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000. By the end of the period, it had reached approximately 15 million jobs. In contrast, agriculture followed a downward trend, declining from about 6 million in 1960 to just 2 million in 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing employed around 15 million people, making it the largest sector, followed by retail at approximately 6 million. Agriculture accounted for about 6 million jobs, while healthcare had only 2 million employees. Manufacturing then rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling steadily to roughly 13 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting that Retail and Healthcare were the highest while Agriculture was the lowest. However, there are some inconsistencies in your data reporting. For instance, you mention Retail started at 6 million in 1960, but later state Manufacturing was the largest at 15 million, which is correct, but your description of the trends becomes repetitive and slightly contradictory between the second and fourth paragraphs. To improve, ensure that your data points are presented in a logical, chronological order to avoid repeating information about the same sectors in different sections.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. You use some cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile', 'Likewise', and 'In contrast' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is slightly disjointed. You discuss Retail and Healthcare in the second paragraph, then return to Healthcare in the third, and finally discuss Manufacturing and Agriculture in the fourth. This creates a fragmented reading experience. Grouping the information by trends (e.g., sectors that grew vs. sectors that declined) or by a more consistent chronological flow would improve the overall coherence and flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'employment trends', 'accounted for', and 'downward trend'. There are some minor errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'which locates in Us' (should be 'located in the US') and 'one of the lowest sector' (should be 'one of the lowest sectors'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the variety and precision required for a higher band. Incorporating more sophisticated synonyms for 'increase' or 'decrease' and ensuring correct pluralization would enhance your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'namely Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, healthcare in economy' (missing articles and conjunctions) and 'it followed upward trend' (missing an article). Additionally, there are punctuation and capitalization issues, such as 'Us' instead of 'US'. These errors do not generally impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles (a/an/the) will help improve your accuracy.

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