Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The rendered linear representation depicts the information regarding number of workers the economy of the four sectors in the US the rate of employment in the four fields of economy in the US in the time of 1960 to 2020.

In an overview, it is apparent that there numerous fluctuations were along the time period. intersetingly manufacturing field remain highest all time period except the end of the year.

To commence with, the retail and agriculture jobs were begin from the same position with 5 million workers However retail post went a strikingly up over the years and became the most popular work at the nearly 15 million at the end of the year in 2020 with the employees of rwhereas the agriculture will go consitant down and ends with pnly 2.5 million roughly workers at the year of 2020.

Shifting towards the remaining details, the manufacturing and the field of Healthcare opened with a bigger difference the manufacturing had 15 million jobs whereas Healthcare had 10 million lesser. Healthcare strated from nealry 2.5 million vocations started going upside and over the market of manufacturing in the year of 2010 with the occupation of 13.5 million and hold the highest position in the year of 2020 while the manufacturing goes up in the 2 decades and hold the occupation of 20 million whereas then it gets a strike plunged and went to the low.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth of retail and healthcare and the decline of agriculture. However, the summary is hindered by inaccurate reporting of data. For instance, you state that manufacturing reached 20 million and then plunged, which is not clearly supported by the visual data provided. Additionally, the overview is somewhat vague and contains errors in data interpretation. To improve, ensure that your main features are clearly supported by the figures and that you avoid contradictory statements. The response addresses the prompt, but the lack of precision in reporting the data limits the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To commence with' and 'Shifting towards the remaining details'. There are also issues with referencing; for example, the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, making the logical flow feel disjointed. While there is an attempt at progression, the lack of clear, natural linking words makes the text feel repetitive and occasionally difficult to follow. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will significantly enhance the readability of your work.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. You rely on basic descriptors like 'bigger difference' and 'going upside', which are not appropriate for an academic report. There are also several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'vocations' instead of 'jobs' or 'sectors', and 'strike plunged', which is not a standard collocation. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined steadily', and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing field remain'), incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'were begin'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the rate of employment in the four fields of economy in the US in the time of 1960 to 2020'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

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