Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The graph chart shows the information of jobs in four sectors of economy and the estimate number of workers in US between 1960 to 2020.

Firstly , in 1960 , manufacturing company was in top position with 15 millions workers which continued to 1980 and it reached to 20 millions workers . But after 80's , technology started to take over and manufacturing sector faced a downward trend. In 2020 , it reached to 13 million. Beside manufacture, agriculture also followed the same algorithm. Started with 6million workers in 1960 , goes down to 3million and stayed stable for 20 years, but after 2000 again it started to go down.

On the other hand, retail and healthcare followed the opposite trend. From 1960 to 2020, both sector showed growth. With 6 millions jobs in retail in 1960 ,it reached 16millions jobs in 2020. The greatest growth showed in healthcare sector . In 60 years , healthcare jobs reached 2millions to 16millions.

Overall, retail and healthcare showed a huge growth over the period where manufacture and agriculture goes down by the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the contrast between the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) and the growing sectors (retail and healthcare). The overview is clear and captures the main features of the data. However, the report could be improved by including more specific data points to support the comparisons, particularly regarding the starting and ending figures for all sectors. While the main features are reported, the analysis is somewhat descriptive rather than analytical. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points mentioned are accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more explicitly linked to the overall economic context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The response is logically organized into four paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'Overall' to structure the report. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of manufacturing and agriculture is a bit abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'the same algorithm' to describe a trend, which is not the most appropriate lexical choice for this context. Improving the variety and sophistication of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend', 'growth', and 'stable'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that slightly hinder precision. For instance, 'graph chart' is redundant, 'manufacturing company' is used instead of 'manufacturing sector', and 'followed the same algorithm' is an unnatural way to describe a trend. There are also minor errors in pluralization, such as '15 millions workers' instead of '15 million workers'. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing data trends and ensure correct usage of numerical expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in top position', 'in US'), subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. For example, 'manufacturing company was in top position' should be 'the manufacturing sector was in the top position'. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation and spacing, such as the extra spaces before commas. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency of the writing. Increasing the variety of complex structures while focusing on grammatical accuracy will help improve this score.

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