Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the information regarding amount of employment in four categories (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) in the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing industry had maximum number of jobs in the beginning of the period and it was overtaken by retail and agriculture in the end. Jobs in manufacturing and healthcare declined over time, while retail and agriculture rose significantly.

In the manufacturing sector, which has majority of jobs in 1960 by 15 million, reached at a peak (20 million) in the next two decades. From 1980 to 2020, employment in this area plummeted considerably and accounted around 13 million in the end of the period. Healthcare and retail were the second most popular job categories in the starting, however healthcare jobs continuously decreased throughout the period and became the category with least job number at approximately 3 million by 2020.

Meanwhile, work in retail department jumped from around 6 million (1960) to nearly 16 million (2020) and became the most eminent job sector in 2020, by surpassing manufacturing industry after 2000. Agriculture had minimum jobs in 1960, which significantly grew up by 2020 and became equivalent to retail by overtaking manufacturing sector just before 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main features of the graph and provided a clear overview. You selected relevant data points to support your descriptions, such as the peak in manufacturing and the growth in retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in your interpretation of the data. For example, you state that manufacturing was overtaken by retail and agriculture at the end, but the graph shows manufacturing remained higher than agriculture. Additionally, you mention healthcare declined, but the graph shows it remained relatively stable or saw minor fluctuations. Ensure you double-check the data points against the visual representation to improve the accuracy of your reporting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'however', and 'in the beginning' to connect ideas. However, the use of some cohesive devices is slightly mechanical, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is more fluid.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plummeted', 'eminent', and 'surpassing'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'amount of employment' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'level of employment', and 'job number' instead of 'number of jobs'. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on collocations and more academic phrasing to describe trends and data points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'which has majority of jobs' (should be 'which had the majority'), 'reached at a peak' (should be 'reached a peak'), and 'accounted around' (should be 'accounted for around'). These errors are frequent but do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. To improve, pay closer attention to verb patterns, prepositions, and article usage. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you achieve a higher band score.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.