Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that Healthcare accounted for the highest proportion through the period. While, Agriculture had the steadily decreased and then remained stable over the period. In contrast, Retail and manufacturing recorded lowest figures .

In 1960, approximately 7% jobs in millions accounted for the steadily increased in 1980 and then roughly rise in 16 million of jobs in 2020. Moreover, Agriculture at around 7 million of jobs in 1960, followed by steadily declined in 1980 at 3 millions of jobs and then remained stable in both two years between 2000 and 2020 at around 3 million of jobs.

In detail, at around 15 millions of jobs in Manufacturing sector in 1960, followed by manufacturing had sharply increased at around 20 millions jobs and then dramatically dropped in 2020 at approximately, 13 millions. In 1960 Retail around 7 millions of jobs and then slightly rose in 2000 and further sharply increased in 2020 at approximately 17 millions of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main features of the graph and provided a clear overview. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons between them. However, the data reporting is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For instance, you mention '7% jobs in millions', which is a confusing unit, and some of your specific data points (e.g., the manufacturing peak) are not clearly supported by the graph. To improve, ensure that your data points are precise and that you distinguish clearly between the number of jobs and percentages. The overview is present, but it could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant trends, such as the shift from manufacturing to healthcare.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Moreover', and 'In detail'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'While, Agriculture had the steadily decreased'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the sentences often lacks fluidity, which makes the text feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used with correct grammatical structures will help improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'remained stable', 'sharply increased', and 'dramatically dropped'. However, there are several issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'roughly rise in 16 million of jobs' and 'followed by steadily declined'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations correctly (e.g., 'a steady decline' rather than 'steadily declined') and avoid repetitive phrasing. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and adverbs will also enhance the precision of your descriptions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include incorrect verb forms ('Agriculture had the steadily decreased'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('in both two years between 2000 and 2020'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack a clear subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity of your report. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring correct tense usage will significantly improve your score in this criterion.

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