Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that in the manufacturing sector the highest number of jobs were available during given period. In contrast, in agriculture very small amount of jobs were available between 1960 and 2020 in the US.
In the healthcare field, around 3 million jobs were available in year 1960. After that the jobs were increased and in 1980 5 million jobs available. Then there was rapid growth in jobs and in 2000 11 million jobs for people in healthcare. And last in 2020, 16 million jobs were present in the US. Moreover, in the agriculture sector, 6 million jobs available in 1960. Followed by this, in 1980 and 2000 there was 4 million job and in 2020 there was 3 million jobs.
In the retail, 6 million jobs were in 1960. But after that there was a significant growth in jobs and in 1980 there was 10 million jobs, in 2000 there was 15 million and in 2020, 16 millions jobs were available in the US. Further more, in the agriculture the highest number of jobs were available among all sector. In 1960, 15 million jobs, in 1980 20 million jobs were available. But after that the jobs were decreased in this field. And in 2000 there was 16 million jobs and in 2020 there was 14 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years mentioned. However, there are significant factual inconsistencies. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs, but then later attribute the highest numbers to the agriculture sector. Additionally, the data points provided for agriculture (15-20 million) contradict the typical trends seen in such graphs, suggesting a misreading of the visual information. While the main features are identified, the lack of accuracy in reporting the data prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that your summary of the data aligns precisely with the visual evidence provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Moreover', and 'Followed by this'. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the factual errors mentioned in the task achievement section. The transition between the description of the healthcare sector and the retail sector is functional, but the overall flow is slightly mechanical. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the logical progression of the data is consistent would improve the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'manufacturing sector', 'significant growth', and 'rapid growth'. However, there are some repetitive structures and minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'very small amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'in year 1960' (should be 'in the year 1960'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations and avoid repeating the same sentence structures when describing trends. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will also enhance your lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in agriculture', 'in the retail') and subject-verb agreement ('jobs was available', 'there was 4 million job'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall fluency. To improve, focus on consistent use of plural forms and articles, and ensure that your verb tenses remain consistent throughout the report. Practising complex sentence construction will also help you move toward a higher band.
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